1st Doctor's Appointment

Today's appointment was pretty harmless. The nurse had a lot of medical history questions for P. and I, brochures to look over and papers to sign, and then I had to get a urine and blood test. We learned about classes at the hospital we can take and optional tests down the line that are available to us. We also chose to donate our baby's umbilical cord. My starting pregnancy weight as of today is 151 lbs, with clothes and shoes on. It looks like I have lost about 6-8 lbs since getting pregnant. Surprising considering the extra weight I feel I am carrying in my chest and how large and bloated I feel but not surprising at the same time since my diet has drastically changed. The nurse gave us a due date of April 9th, 2008 and said we would know more at my next apt which is Sept 18th and is with a doctor. On the 18th they will do a full pelvic exam, measurements and maybe an ultrasound if they find it necessary. Otherwise I will only get an ultrasound during my 20th week and hopefully at that time our little pumpkin will cooperate and show us if we can start thinking boy or girl.

Things have been going pretty well lately. I have been sleeping more which gives me less awake time to feel sick. I am eating a lot of cereal, toast, crackers and lemonade. I do worry our baby isn't getting enough nutrients from fruits and vegetables right now but our nurse said to just worry about getting things down for now and once the morning sickness goes away work on a more nutritional diet.

On another note, NFL Football starts tonight! Football for us means hours of exciting entertainment, cold weather, chili and corn bread, wearing my SF 49ers hoodie sweatshirt and late nights watching our favorite teams. Games start really late out here EST. Late enough for us to consider moving back to a reasonable time zone just for the convenience. My team is the rebuilding yet still decent Niners. P. is a lifelong Philadelphia Eagles fan. Go team! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? We are.

9 weeks, September already?

P. and I went to Chicago for the holiday weekend to see a Cubs game at the amazing Wrigley Field, eat at our favorite restaurant The Cheesecake Factory and see the big city sites. The last time we went to Chicago the weather was horrendous. It was windy and cold. So cold we could hardly be outside for more than a few minutes at a time. This trip was much different.

We had a slight delay Sat morning trying to get out of the house due to tummy troubles. We almost didn't make the trip because I was having such a hard time with morning sickness Friday. We took our time Sat morning with eating right, resting and visiting the restroom and around 9:30am I felt I could make the trip and we headed out. I am so glad we hung in there and made the trip because it was a wonderful time with little troubles and lot's of fun. We were late to the Cubs game but got to see about an hour and half of play. P. bought me a cool long sleeve Cubs shirt and we had great seats along the first base line and in the shade. Wrigley Field was so cool, so old school with the manual scoreboard and organ music. It couldn't have gone any better. Oh, and the Cubs won 4-3 over the Houston Astros keeping them in the first place position. After the game we found our fancy Hotel Blake in downtown Chicago, checked in then quickly walked up Michigan Ave. to our early dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. We didn't have to wait for a table and sat down to share a plate of Mahi Mahi Fish Tacos and a piece of Fresh Banana Cheesecake. I had one taco myself and a handful of bites of cheesecake, just enough to satisfy my hunger but not too much to upset my stomach. It was a perfect dinner. After dinner we walked around Navy Pier and got in some good people watching, something we like to do a lot. I was so thankful to have made it all day with minimal troubles. Besides being tired from a long day of walking around and the excitement of the day we were happy and content. The downtown hotel room was loud and it seemed like the city never went to sleep. But we didn't have to check out until noon the next day so we took advantage of a nice, slow, relaxing Sunday morning away from home. Before we headed out of town Sunday we hit the famous pizza place we went to before, Giordano's and had some really good deep dish stuffed pizza. It didn't settle in my stomach well but it was worth it and thank God for frequent rest areas along the road. Oh, and someone rear ended us in traffic in Chicago. It's not bad, just a few scratches and hopefully no lasting effects on my neck. We will keep our fingers crossed. We stopped by the brand new Four Winds Casino in Michigan City and let them take our money before making the final leg home.

I have to say we had a truly wonderful weekend together. We made sure to enjoy our "childless" trip and alone time because soon vacations won't be the same. Not bad, just different, right?

New developments: Lemonade. I love, love, love lemonade. Funny, because I have never even liked lemonade in the past. Grits satisfy my hunger and don't upset my stomach so I have eaten a lot of plain grits lately. Weird, I know. P. puts his hand on my tummy while we watch TV even though there isn't anything noticeably growing in there yet. I love it. He asks me how our little volleyball player is doing and depending on how I am feeling he gets a sweet or sarcastic answer. I have my first doctor's appointment Thursday morning and will make sure to put an update on my blog afterwards. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat and see the little grape sized volleyball player growing in there.

Well, it is September already. Where did the summer go? The kids are back in school today, the weather is cooling down and the leaves are showing some color already. I feel like I have missed out on the last month of summer because of my morning sickness and exhaustion but plan to fully enjoy the beautiful Fall Michigan has to offer. In a few weeks my upset stomach should ease up and I hope to camp a couple more times with my hubby, hit the beautiful Michigan lake shore and enjoy the last couple of months before our long winter hits.

Retail Therapy

Today I tried a new approach to ease my symptoms. I was determined to get out of the house to get my mind off how horrible I felt and get some exercise at the same time. I thought maybe if I didn't think about.....you know the story. And it worked......for a little while. P. and I walked around the Goodwill and Mel Trotter Ministries thrift stores and found a great stroller for $10. Love it. Then I headed to the mall while P. went back to work. I started at Sears, full of energy and feeling pretty good. I visited some of my favorite stores like Pacific Sunwear, Apple and Little Bohemia before coming upon Motherhood. Wow. Pregnant woman's heaven. My books say I will grow out of my pants by the end of October/Nov. At first that was a scary thought, now it is something I look forward. I can't wait to shop at Motherhood. I stopped at the book store and skimmed a pregnancy book titled Pregnancy Sucks before the exhaustion and nauseousness set in and I hurried home. The rest of the day and night has been more of the same. But that's ok. For a few hours today I felt like myself again and it felt good. Oh, and P. and I have a friend whose wife's name is Lilah. I really like it. Goodnight all.

8 Weeks

Last night my grocery store receipt consisted of Vit B6, Unisom, saltine crackers, Tums, peppermint candies and a box of Betty Crocker Brownies. After 2 days bedridden in the house I called my doctor and researched the internet for morning sickness help. I was/am desperate. My doctor recommended Vit B6 once a day and a 1/2 tablet of Unisom as needed. Online I found a lot of woman in my position recommend ginger tea, saltine crackers, Vit B6, motion sickness bands/bracelets, peppermint candies, lot's of small bland meals instead of 3 big meals and to not take your "very strong" prenatal vitamin until nighttime. I tried a few remedies yesterday and felt a little better and even with all my efforts today I feel just terrible. Discouraging, yes. But I do know the sypmtoms are temporary. They say morning sickness peaks around 9-10 weeks and tapers off around 12-14 weeks. I look forward to the day.

Yesterday was my 8 week mark! If everything goes as planned we will have a little baby in 7 months. I feel better telling people at this point that we are pregnant and look forward to sharing the news with some more family and friends in the next couple of weeks. P. and I went garage sale shopping last Sat and found a "like new" pack n' play for cheap and some baby books about puppies of course. Oh and we found a Detroit Red Wings onesie for $.25. Fun, fun. We hope to use the last month or so of garage sales to get some baby necessities for cheap. If you know me at all you know I am not one to buy anything new and expensive that I can get used and cheap at a sale.

Yuck!

So my nausea turned into something much worse today. It's funny because yesterday was such a good day. I got up and had my normal breakfast of fruit and water and soon was hanging my head over the toilet. I don't think I have thrown up since I was 15 years old and today my pregnancy was confirmed with 3 episodes of intense vomiting. So intense I burst a few blood vessels under my right eye. My friend B. said the fun has just begun. I say it was jut a fluke and I ate some bad grapes. We will see.......

I have had some interesting dreams lately. I thought I would share a few funny ones. A couple nights ago I dreamt that I met Reba McEntire and I got to tell her what an incredible person I thought she was. She offered me some hot dogs to eat, I refused. Then a few nights later I dreamt we went to the doctors for an ultrasound and we found out we were having a boy. The doctor took the baby out of the ultrasound screen and handed it to me. It looked like a little alien with a big giant head and I didn't know what to do with it. I had another good dream last night but it has since escaped my mind. Oh well, if I share much more you all might think I am going crazy.

Today I feel very, very blessed to be home. I was thinking about how hard it would be to feel like this and have to go to a job every day. I am going to give my husband a big kiss tonight to let him know how much I appreciate his support and for allowing me to be home during this time. I may be a pessimist or a glass if half empty kind of person but I do realize how lucky I am. I do realize that I have a very good life and have been blessed in so many ways. I have an amazing husband, a nice house, 2 beautiful dogs, good family and friends and there is nothing I am in desperate need or want of. I have it all and a family with P. will just be icing on the cake.

It's Raining, It's Pouring

I am blogging today in sweats, a sweatshirt and thick socks. I think I even considered turning the heat on for a second but grabbed a blanket instead. We just spent a very fall-like rainy weekend camping in Pentwater, MI. We were supposed to spend the long weekend salmon fishing but weather and boat problems prevented us from that. P.'s parents, aunt and uncle, niece and nephew met us Friday at our campground just north of Pentwater. It was windy, too windy to go out on the lake so we went to play Bingo at the local VFW instead. I did win my first Bingo ever and it was exciting but after 2 hours in the smoke and with my eyes crossing P. and I headed home.

P., his dad, and our nephew did get to go out on a friend's boat Sat. morning. They caught a Steelhead and a nice sized Salmon so at least we didn't leave empty handed. We had a fish fry that night with potatoes and salad, yum.

We had made an attempt to go out on P.'s dad's boat that evening but only came back with sea sickness, boat troubles, wet clothes and broken equipment. We can laugh about it now. So Sunday we resorted to the casino and movie theatre to pass the time. Kat. and I went to see No Reservations with Katherine Zeta-Jones. It was cute, typical romance. Who wouldn't fall in love with KZJs, geez she is gorgeous. We headed home early Mon after a long night of pouring rain and no sleep.

I wasn't so sure how I would do camping and being pregnant. It wasn't horrible but let's just say things were a little more difficult. I never felt great, actually I felt pretty miserable the whole time. I feel nauseous from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep. I thought I would finally toss my cookies while out on the boat but kept it down with deep breaths and lots of concentration. With the gloomy rainy days and lack of sleep I was ready to come home and deal with my symptoms in the comforts of my own home. The "morning" sickness is ridiculously named because it doesn't go away after 10am. Mine seems to get worse. I am exhausted. I feel like I could go to sleep right now and wake up next week and still be tired. And the gas, bloating and indigestion is unbelievable. Wow. Tough. But, on a good note I am 7 weeks pregnant! 5 more weeks and I will be out of my first trimester. I heard things get much easier at that point. I do know all of these icky symptoms are temporary and will eventually go away. I do feel it is all worth it. I do feel blessed. But I do look forward to feeling better, a lot.

Update

Names:
P. likes Archer for our boy. Archer means archer, or bowman or marksman. Do you think there would be too much pressure on him to be an expert archer with the name?
I like Shelby for our girl. Shelby doesn't mean much, I just remember Julia Roberts name was Shelby in Steel Magnolias and I really like that movie. And Shelby, MI is where he/she was conceived. Shhh.

I am feeling ok. Still happy and excited but sometimes the other symptoms take over and it's hard to be all happy and excited. I feel nauseous all day most days and my boobs are ridiculously sore and uncomfortable. My sleep schedule is all messed up. I can't fall asleep until 1 or 2am and I sleep in until about 10am. At least I am getting my hours in though. Other than that I am healthy and hanging in there.

Today I told my best friend the news. I tried to wait as long as possible to confirm the pregnancy but I couldn't wait any longer. K. cried. I cried. She is pregnant too, with her 4th and we had a good laugh together as I complained about my boobs and my egg and banana issues. She understood. I hope to be as good a mom as Kristyn is. She is a good woman and a wonderful mom. I will strive to raise kids as well as she has. It felt good to share our wonderful news with my oldest and closest friend.

Open to Suggestions

This weekend we went to Detroit for a Tigers game and to meet some friends for lunch before the game. My friend A. has two kids and handles motherhood quite well so I took the opportunity to bounce some ideas and concerns off of her. One thing I have noticed about couples after having kids is that their marriages suffer. P. and I have such a wonderful marriage and I am a little worried about how things are going to change. She said couples that fall apart or lose their "passion" do that to themselves and that it doesn't have to be that way. They focus all their attention and efforts towards their kids and at the end of the day have nothing left for each other. A. advised to always make time for dates, alone time and to make sure you live your life with kids, not for them. Easier said than done? Is it silly to think things can stay the same between us? All I know is that I am going to make a conscious effort to "save" our marriage. In 10 years from now I want the same excitement and passion for my husband that I have today. Maybe even more.

The Tiger game was a lot of fun. P. and I really enjoy baseball games. We enjoy most sports games together. Besides a change in the game time and a little trouble finding our way home after the game things went quite well. Comerica Park is nice and new. The Tigers played well with a couple home runs hit in our direction. All in all it was a fun day in Detroit. We were able to see good friends, eat BBQ, watch a fun baseball game and spend quality time together as a couple.

My books don't list "thinking" as a symptom of pregnancy but I find myself thinking, even worrying, more than ever. There are so many things to ponder and figure out. Maybe it's just that I have too much time on my hands now and I need to find something to keep myself busy with for the next 9 months. I haven't spent a lot of time around kids and personally don't feel I have a strong "mom" gene. But I have a lot of friends and family members that I respect as moms and dads and can learn a lot from. If there is something you have learned from being a mom, dad, grandmother or grandfather, aunt or uncle or friend please share your thoughts with me. My mind and heart are open right now to listening and learning. I want to be the best mom I can be so if there is important knowledge or advise you can share I would be more than happy to hear from you. Off to eat lunch and nap. It's a hard life but someone has got to do it!

Sad But Relieved

Reba is in a new home today. I don't doubt that she is happy. Maybe a little confused and disoriented but hopefully she hasn't missed a beat. The home will provide constant company with someone being home all of the time, a nice house and yard, a new doggy sister and lot's of love and attention. I feel good about the care she will receive and the life that she will have with them. Leaving her was sad and I teared up walking away but I knew it was the right decision for her and for us.

Last night we told my parents we were pregnant. They were so thrilled for us. They really wanted us to have kids so our "Thanksgiving table" wasn't empty. If all goes as planned this Thanksgiving will be the last without our kids sitting at it. That is pretty exciting to think about. We know it is early to be telling so many friends and family but this is a happy time and we want to share it with everyone we love. And if something happens we will have all the support we need to get through it. Last night was the first time since we found out we were pregnant that I really felt like I could handle my pregnancy.

It's amazing how much better you can feel after a good night's sleep. I needed it so bad. It took me a while to fall asleep because I was thinking about Reba and how she was doing. But after I fell asleep I didn't wake up again until morning. I feel like a new person today. I do miss that bouncy little puppy but it is nice to have my house back. Abby and Serra are recovering from the chaos and Serra might miss her a little but I think they are both happy to have their lives back too. I do have an appointment for my neck at the Pain Management Clinic today at 4pm. I am pretty sure there is nothing they can help me with now since I am pregnant but we will discuss our options and go from there. Tomorrow P. and I head to Detroit to have lunch with some friends. Then we go to the Detroit Tigers game at Comerica Park. Should be a lot of fun. They are playing the Oakland A's and P. and I have really been looking forward to this game. It's supposed to be a hot, humid day. That's August in Michigan!

The future is bright. I am rejuvenated and encouraged. I haven't experienced any morning sickness just a few food aversions like bananas and eggs. I had my first bout with heartburn last night. I pee all the time. I am going through toilet paper like water, or because of water.... Well, off to eat. My outlook on eating has changed drastically. I used to eat because I loved it and I loved food. Now I eat to nourish the little guy or girl in there. How boring! :)

Reba

We tried to find a new home for Reba today. The worries, anxieties and concerns of having a puppy and a new baby where so overwhelming that I needed to find a way out. It was such an agonizing decision to even list her on craigslist today. I have been going back and forth about it in my head for almost a week now. I can't sleep, both due to Reba being up and worrying about having the energy to take care of myself, Reba and a new baby. I am still concerned about the financial issues of taking care of so many bodies and in the end I keep asking myself, does Abby still love me for adding this annoyance to her life?

Reba got more hits on craigslist today than I was prepared for. I filtered emails all day and interviewed potential mommies and daddies on the phone. No one was good enough. We even visited a potential home that sounded perfect and we still left with Reba in tow. It was such a relief to know she was going to be sleeping in our home and not in a new, scary place that wasn't good enough for her. I knew this was a hard decision but maybe I don't really want to give her up. Or my head does and my heart doesn't, in equal proportions. I cried all day about it. Is that what you do when you are pregnant?

So here we are. I just took Reba out to pee and poop which she finally ended up doing successfully after much coaxing. I am tired and emotionally drained and I still have a puppy. Is keeping her the right thing or is giving her up right? Will I have enough energy for the 3 of us, well 6 of us if you count P., Abby and Serra too? Boy this is a toughie.

And to make it all worse, she is just so darn cute. How could that cute little face be a cause for concern? I am going to go lay awake for a few more hours and think about it.......

Three Tests Don't Lie

Friday I took 3 pregnancy tests. The first one was surely wrong, the second was a fluke and the third was, well, I have no explanation for the third one. They all resulted in the same 2 pink lines. I am pregnant! Until I have a doctor's confirmation I am trying to stay calm, collected and not get too ahead of myself. Thoughts of diapers, nurseries, names, gaining weight, and all the ways our life is going to change run through my head constantly. My mind has totally refocused now on how to better my life, my diet, my faith, my relationships and my priorities.

Friday morning started out like most others except for the fact that my step-daughter K. was leaving us after a summer visit of 7 weeks. We had plans for butterscotch pancakes, a trip to the zoo and lunch out before taking her to the airport for a 4:20pm flight. Normally I am all about the pancakes. I usually hold myself to two but Friday morning I could hardly force down one. For anyone that knows me, if I can't eat, something is wrong. I spent the morning pondering my recent crying spells, anxiety attacks, bad cramps and a few other symptoms that I won't mention but that really didn't make any sense. For kicks I decided to take a pregnancy test knowing FOR SURE I couldn't be pregnant. We had purchased some at an earlier date for future use and it was convenient for me to have some on hand. As P. did the dishes from breakfast, K. got ready and packed up some stuff for her trip home, I started the shower and peed on the stick. Within seconds 2 bright pink lines showed up in the window and I stood there, water running, shaking, smiling, saying "No way, no way, no way..." out loud to myself. I got in the shower unable to wipe the huge grin off my face, still shaking and just wanting to run to my husband to share the news. But I couldn't because what if the test was wrong? What about K.? It was her day and I didn't want to take away from that. It was going to be a long day ahead of me.

Friday P., K. and I went to the John Ball Zoo. It was a nice day, a nice zoo, a nice time. We had fun together looking at all our favorite animals, taking pictures and enjoying each others company for the last time maybe until Christmas. It was a sad day. Her departure was lingering over our heads. So was my positive pregnancy test. I was freaking out inside but trying stay cool on the outside. I just had to get through the day, get her to the airport, get her home then we would deal with what was ahead of us. After the zoo we went to Arby's then home to spend some more time with the dogs before she had to leave. Our friends stopped by to say goodbye to K. and after they left I escaped back to the bathroom to take another test. It had those same two lines but not as dark and not as obvious as the first. See, it wasn't right. So we went to the airport, a quick trip to Walmart then home for a nap. Boy was I tired. I took my final test around 6pm and with the same result sat down and waited for my husband to come in from unloading the car. I asked him to sit down next to me and said, "At first I wasn't sure how I felt about these but now I am just really excited and happy." I gave him the three tests and he said, "What do they say?" I started to cry. He said "Congratulations!" We sat in shock for at least an hour and talked about silly things. P. and I weren't actively trying to get pregnant and had actually gone back and forth quite a bit about starting a family. Can we do it with my health, our finances, our new puppy? Can we handle the ups and downs of parenthood? I wasn't so sure after life with K.. Do we have the patience, the selflessness and the dedication? 2 weeks ago we added a new puppy to our family, Reba. She was going to be my substitute for a baby and we were going to go on with our lives as they were. Reba was going to fill that "baby" spot in my heart and all would be fine with the world. Well, someone had other plans for us. And here we are. I have 2 big dogs, a puppy and now a new little one growing in my tummy. How do I feel? Better, how don't I feel? First, I feel blessed. I have been given a gift. What some people say is the greatest gift from God. Second, I feel scared. Are we going to be able to do this? Will I be a good mom? Can we handle this change?

I can't wait to share our news with all our family and friends. I started this blog to document the road ahead. Someday I will read back through this blog holding our baby in my arms, my dogs at my feet and my husband by my side and know all is right with the world and that God is good. God provides. And God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. So, bring it on!