Reba

We tried to find a new home for Reba today. The worries, anxieties and concerns of having a puppy and a new baby where so overwhelming that I needed to find a way out. It was such an agonizing decision to even list her on craigslist today. I have been going back and forth about it in my head for almost a week now. I can't sleep, both due to Reba being up and worrying about having the energy to take care of myself, Reba and a new baby. I am still concerned about the financial issues of taking care of so many bodies and in the end I keep asking myself, does Abby still love me for adding this annoyance to her life?

Reba got more hits on craigslist today than I was prepared for. I filtered emails all day and interviewed potential mommies and daddies on the phone. No one was good enough. We even visited a potential home that sounded perfect and we still left with Reba in tow. It was such a relief to know she was going to be sleeping in our home and not in a new, scary place that wasn't good enough for her. I knew this was a hard decision but maybe I don't really want to give her up. Or my head does and my heart doesn't, in equal proportions. I cried all day about it. Is that what you do when you are pregnant?

So here we are. I just took Reba out to pee and poop which she finally ended up doing successfully after much coaxing. I am tired and emotionally drained and I still have a puppy. Is keeping her the right thing or is giving her up right? Will I have enough energy for the 3 of us, well 6 of us if you count P., Abby and Serra too? Boy this is a toughie.

And to make it all worse, she is just so darn cute. How could that cute little face be a cause for concern? I am going to go lay awake for a few more hours and think about it.......