Mostly Pete

Ok, so most of these pictures are of Pete but that's because he actually does stuff. Jamie is cute and adorable but she is either sleeping or crying. I had a better week. My Mastitis is gone. My nose is not broken and feels much better now. Abby has not had any more falling or peeing incidences and seems to be her normal happy self. I miss Serra but I have come to terms with the fact that it was the best decision for our family. Jamie didn't get better though, she got worse. She is a crier that girl. To make a long story short, if you are not holding Jamie she is crying. Jamie sleeps, when you hold her. So, my day consists of holding Jamie, putting her down only to eat or pee. I do put her down and let her cry to spend time with Pete or to feed or change him and those times are very unsettling. It's hard to enjoy your time with the screaming in the background. But....I know this is temporary. It won't last forever. I wouldn't mind holding her so much except for the fact that I have another baby that needs me and I need him. So, we make it work though there is a lot of crying going on around here, from more than one person....

Here is our little man eating yogurt today. About half made it in his mouth but he loved trying.Jamie in a rare peaceful state.
Pete playing with his lawnmower in the shower. So funny.
Abby sleeping on Pete's toys.
Pete got ahold of the aluminum foil. Ever try to put foil back in the box after it was out? Not easy. More like impossible.
Hanging out with baby sissy watching the Today Show.
Eating raisins, one of his favorite snacks.
Playing with the cooler. He carries it around grunting, huffing and puffing. It's too heavy so he drops it on his toes and gets frustrated.
Pete doesn't wear pants very often does he? Ha, just noticed that.

That's all for now. Time for bed.....The house is quiet, the babies are asleep. Have a great weekend! Love, AM

Date

P. and I went on a date Monday night. It was our first time alone since Jamie was born. Actually it has been much longer than that. I don't even know if we were ever alone all summer. Our friend Karen offered to watch the kids for us and it couldn't have come at a better time. I admit, I was nervous to leave both of them with one person. Jamie is fussy at night and Pete feeds off of that and joins in. Pete is also tired and needy at night so put them together and it makes for a long night. But Karen was willing and I was willing to let her try. P. and I decided to go grill at the park instead of going to a restaurant. I marinated a steak, baked a potato, cut up some fruit and brought some green peppers to grill on the side. Karen brought us some caramel corn that her husband made and we had a load of it before and after our dinner. We had dinner, went on a walk, took some pictures, drove a bit through the country then went to Rockford for some ice-cream. It was a great night. Yes, I was worried about Karen and the kids the whole time. I know what my nights are like so I knew how hers was going. When we got home Pete was asleep and Jamie was taking a bottle. Seemed under control. And it was, for the most part. Karen did amazingly well though I knew she would. She is the one that watched Pete and Katie for us when we were in the hospital so she knew the game plan. She said Pete did awesome. Played all night, not a fuss except for right when we left and when she put him to bed. Jamie was another story. She slept for the first 15 min we were gone then was up the rest of the night crying. Well, crying if you didn't hold her and we all know it isn't possible to hold her constantly with another kid in the picture. Just like today, if I am not holding her, she is crying. So I hold her, and hold her and hold her.....put her down to eat and pee then hold her again. Right now, I am not holding her, and she is crying....

Our date was wonderful. Karen blessed us with some time alone and we appreciated it so much. She and her family are wonderful friends. I hope she still likes us after her babysitting experience but next time, if there is a next time, she will probably bring back up. :) Here are some pictures from our date. Thanks Karen.Better go get Jamie.......

Down But Not Out

I am very lucky. I know how lucky I am. Every day I think about or give praises to God for blessing me so greatly. I have a nice home, a wonderful husband, 2 1/2 beautiful kids who are healthy and happy and all the food, cars, clothes, etc that I could want. I have family and friends who love me very much. I know and I am thankful for everything I have.

With that said this week has been hard for me. Some things have happened that have discouraged and brought me down. Last weekend I came down with Mastitis again. The breast infection has made every day a little harder. I feel exhausted and quite under the weather. I am going on my 7th day of antibiotics and am finally feeling like I am kicking the infection.

Jamie has not nursed well all week making the illness very painful and bothersome. She has had an abnormally fussy week. If she is awake she is crying, especially the past few days. This makes for a long day and puts everyone in the house on edge. I wonder, is she sick, is something bothering her, what is going on? I hope our baby girl is ok. I wish there was something I could do for her. And of course for my sake I hope the phase passes soon.

We made a very hard decision for our family this week. P. and I decided we needed to get rid of Serra. Serra has always been a "problem child." Personally I think she was not all there in the head. That dog digs, eats everything, runs away, barks, destroys anything she can get a hold of, eats poop and pukes it up in the house or licks the kids, and pretty much does anything she can to cause of problems. When we moved to this new house everything got worse. Serra started peeing in the house, digging in the yard and against the house, she ripped the trim down around the doors and the last straw was getting out of the fence. Last week Serra got out of the backyard and ran down to the street and barked at the kids getting off the bus. All the kids freaked out and ran back onto the bus, the bus driver was honking and I was running out there with baby in my arms, not knowing what to do with Pete, trying to drag my dog back inside with her fighting against me and the bus driver yelling at me about keeping my dog locked up. It was a horrible experience. I was done, just completely done with that dog. I made the decision that P. had made a long time ago to give her away. I was watching the news and they had this bit on how when you are stressed you should spend time with your pets. I thought to myself, my dog causes me more work and stress than I can handle right now. I had to do this, for me, my sanity and my family. How do I feel about it? Terrible. I have cried every day since she has been gone. (P. took her to the humane society last week.) I feel so guilty I have lost sleep and I already don't sleep. I miss her but I don't. I gave up on her. I have always been one to say that pets are not disposable. They are part of your family and she was, she was my baby. But she got to be too much and honestly the decision was a long time coming. I don't know that I will ever get over giving up on her. I am sorry sweet dog.

And it looks like I might be losing Abby too. Today she fell into a pile of toys due to her failing legs. This afternoon she peed herself in her bed. It was too much to handle. I am not ready to lose Abby. She has been a good dog, with me through thick and thin and I can't lose her too. Hopefully it was just a fluke but after working in vet hospitals I know loss of bladder control is the beginning to the end. I am devastated about the possibility of losing Abby in the near future. Please Lord save her for a little while longer.

Today Pete head butted my nose. We were playing, laughing, having a good time and he flung his head forward and hit my nose so hard with his forehead we all heard a loud crack. All day my whole face has hurt, my eyes sting, my nose is so sensitive. I initially thought I broke it but so far the swelling and bruising is minimal. I pray it heals quickly because it is very painful. I have had unusual allergies for the past week or more. Sneezing, itchy eyes, scratchy throat and runny nose. Again, another thing that just won't quit and won't go away to provide me any relief at all. I feel at times I just can't win.

With the loss of sleep, loss of my dogs, persistent health issues and the challenge of transitioning to two babies I am feeling a little run down. I miss family and friends and long for companionship, encouragement and help from them. I decided to write about my challenges this week to get them off my chest and because this is where I share my life, I chose not to leave it out. I know things will get better. I know it was just a bad week, and compared to a lot of other people, it really wasn't that bad. I know it is Sunday night and tomorrow is a new week. While writing this post I took a break to nurse Jamie. She fed better than she had in a week. At one point she tilted her head back and I made some funny faces and noises at her and she smiled at me. I thought it was a fluke. I did it again and she smiled again. It's going to be a good week. I just need a little break to get myself back on my feet.....

These pictures would brighten anyone's day, especially their mom's. I will be OK. Off to bed to get that much needed sleep.....