The Food Network

My new thing is watching cooking shows on the Food Network. I watch everything including all the "challenges" and "cook-offs". I don't know why. Food is still hard for me to eat, smell and look at but there is something about these shows that is entertaining. I used to find them boring, and some still are, but right now they work. I really enjoy Paula Dean, she always makes the comfort foods like chili and cornbread or some sweet, rich dessert without ever sparing the fat. The more sugar or butter the better. That's what I say. :)

Well, October means the beginning of hunting season for P. and most of Michigan. With nights at ITT and hunting I am worried about becoming what they call a "Hunter's Widow". I spend a lot of days at home alone so I have become somewhat dependent on my husband's company at night. But I know it is what he loves to do and it only lasts a couple months so I can handle being "widowed" for a little while. I do hope to join him on a couple local camping/hunting trips this month but with how I have been feeling I just don't know if that is possible. I just take each day as it comes and hope for the best. As much as I maybe don't understand or support hunting I do support my husband and love him for who he is. He would do the same for me. So, good luck babe, I hope you have a fun and successful season.

I am currently reading The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy. So far so good. And I am entering my second official week of Bible Study Fellowship where we are studying the book of Matthew for 33 weeks. It is really hard to read and study the bible so deeply and intensely every day. It takes a lot of commitment and can get quite frustrating at times when I feel I am not understanding the lesson. But I am learning quickly and feel proud when I work hard and get it done. My next "life" goal is to start exercising again and prepare this tired body for the months ahead. It makes me tired just thinking about it.....

This Is No Fun

This past week has been one of the hardest weeks yet of my pregnancy. There was not a single day that my pregnancy symptoms let up long enough to give me any type of relief. It was a week of the worst morning sickness I have experienced with complete nausea all day increasing in intensity every evening. I had four days of strong, miserable migraines. Ones that make you sick to your stomach if you are not already. And on top of the gross and annoying large amounts of saliva that I have been dealing with now I have this full, bloated, gaseous stomach that only settles down when my stomach is empty and I can't let that happen. As soon as I eat anything, even if only a small bowl of cereal or piece of toast, the gas starts to build up and the pressure is extremely painful. I can let only bits of it out and the rest just continues to build until its hard to move or breathe. Good thing I know my husband loves me just the way I am and I know nothing, even these extremely unattractive pregnancy symptoms will change that. But lets just say I don't feel quite as sexy as he tells me I am.

If you looked at me today you wouldn't be able to tell that I was pregnant. I still weigh less than when got pregnant and there is no obvious tummy. But I can tell a difference in the look and feel of my stomach. I can see a little bump growing and it feels hard and full. It may just be the bloat but I don't think so. It's exciting to see and feel the slight changes in my lower abdomen and I think right now it is one of the only things keeping me from getting depressed. I know there are hundreds of thousands of women going through the same thing I am right now. And I know there are many women out there that experience morning sickness all 9 months. I can't even think about that right now. I just can't imagine feeling like this much longer. Even though millions of women go through this it doesn't make it any easier. I am still hopeful and optimistic that there will soon be an end to this. Maybe tomorrow will be the day. It would be nice to start a new week, week 13, and a new month with a new state of health and well-being. The hard part right now is not knowing. Will this last for another day, week, month, 6 months? When will I be able to start truly enjoying this pregnancy? Why me?

We did get to do something this weekend that I have wanted to do for a long time now. We had professional pictures of the dogs taken. They are my early anniversary present from P. and from what I saw they turned out perfectly. They are just what I wanted. The setting was beautiful, the dogs looked gorgeous and the ones we took of the whole family came out great. But most importantly I got a perfect picture of Abby that I will keep forever and ever. Abby is my best friend and there are many days over the past 7 years that I don't know what I would have done without her. Besides P. now, she is the most dependable, constant and unconditional companion I have ever had. We should receive our prints by our anniversary in Nov.

Well, time for bed. I always look forward to bedtime because at night only my weird dreams make me feel pregnant. It wasn't a great football day either with my Niners losing big and the Eagles falling apart before our eyes. Tomorrow is a new day. Will it be THE day?