I am very lucky. I know how lucky I am. Every day I think about or give praises to God for blessing me so greatly. I have a nice home, a wonderful husband, 2 1/2 beautiful kids who are healthy and happy and all the food, cars, clothes, etc that I could want. I have family and friends who love me very much. I know and I am thankful for everything I have.
With that said this week has been hard for me. Some things have happened that have discouraged and brought me down. Last weekend I came down with Mastitis again. The breast infection has made every day a little harder. I feel exhausted and quite under the weather. I am going on my 7th day of antibiotics and am finally feeling like I am kicking the infection.
Jamie has not nursed well all week making the illness very painful and bothersome. She has had an abnormally fussy week. If she is awake she is crying, especially the past few days. This makes for a long day and puts everyone in the house on edge. I wonder, is she sick, is something bothering her, what is going on? I hope our baby girl is ok. I wish there was something I could do for her. And of course for my sake I hope the phase passes soon.
We made a very hard decision for our family this week. P. and I decided we needed to get rid of Serra. Serra has always been a "problem child." Personally I think she was not all there in the head. That dog digs, eats everything, runs away, barks, destroys anything she can get a hold of, eats poop and pukes it up in the house or licks the kids, and pretty much does anything she can to cause of problems. When we moved to this new house everything got worse. Serra started peeing in the house, digging in the yard and against the house, she ripped the trim down around the doors and the last straw was getting out of the fence. Last week Serra got out of the backyard and ran down to the street and barked at the kids getting off the bus. All the kids freaked out and ran back onto the bus, the bus driver was honking and I was running out there with baby in my arms, not knowing what to do with Pete, trying to drag my dog back inside with her fighting against me and the bus driver yelling at me about keeping my dog locked up. It was a horrible experience. I was done, just completely done with that dog. I made the decision that P. had made a long time ago to give her away. I was watching the news and they had this bit on how when you are stressed you should spend time with your pets. I thought to myself, my dog causes me more work and stress than I can handle right now. I had to do this, for me, my sanity and my family. How do I feel about it? Terrible. I have cried every day since she has been gone. (P. took her to the humane society last week.) I feel so guilty I have lost sleep and I already don't sleep. I miss her but I don't. I gave up on her. I have always been one to say that pets are not disposable. They are part of your family and she was, she was my baby. But she got to be too much and honestly the decision was a long time coming. I don't know that I will ever get over giving up on her. I am sorry sweet dog.
And it looks like I might be losing Abby too. Today she fell into a pile of toys due to her failing legs. This afternoon she peed herself in her bed. It was too much to handle. I am not ready to lose Abby. She has been a good dog, with me through thick and thin and I can't lose her too. Hopefully it was just a fluke but after working in vet hospitals I know loss of bladder control is the beginning to the end. I am devastated about the possibility of losing Abby in the near future. Please Lord save her for a little while longer.
Today Pete head butted my nose. We were playing, laughing, having a good time and he flung his head forward and hit my nose so hard with his forehead we all heard a loud crack. All day my whole face has hurt, my eyes sting, my nose is so sensitive. I initially thought I broke it but so far the swelling and bruising is minimal. I pray it heals quickly because it is very painful. I have had unusual allergies for the past week or more. Sneezing, itchy eyes, scratchy throat and runny nose. Again, another thing that just won't quit and won't go away to provide me any relief at all. I feel at times I just can't win.
With the loss of sleep, loss of my dogs, persistent health issues and the challenge of transitioning to two babies I am feeling a little run down. I miss family and friends and long for companionship, encouragement and help from them. I decided to write about my challenges this week to get them off my chest and because this is where I share my life, I chose not to leave it out. I know things will get better. I know it was just a bad week, and compared to a lot of other people, it really wasn't that bad. I know it is Sunday night and tomorrow is a new week. While writing this post I took a break to nurse Jamie. She fed better than she had in a week. At one point she tilted her head back and I made some funny faces and noises at her and she smiled at me. I thought it was a fluke. I did it again and she smiled again. It's going to be a good week. I just need a little break to get myself back on my feet.....
These pictures would brighten anyone's day, especially their mom's. I will be OK. Off to bed to get that much needed sleep.....
Better go get Jamie.......
Our little hunter. Love the tongue. He didn't do it on purpose, he doesn't know what it means just yet so it was still cute! :)
Me and my kids. 
At the park picking up rocks to throw. 
Jamie at the park hanging out. 
Pete and his sister hanging out while I get ready. 
A boy after my own heart. Well, not really. I wish he didn't eat like me but the boy loves his carbs and sweets. The only thing different from his diet and mine is he doesn't eat very much. 
Me and my sweet babies. Whenever I am holding Jamie Pete isn't far away.
Pete likes to brush his teeth while sitting in the swing. And his new thing is to zip his pajamas down. We call him Elvis. 
Pete's new hat. Daddy's Lil Huntin' Buddy. 
Afternoon at Craigs Cruisers with ITT. Let's just say it was the coldest round of mini golf I have ever played. Pete loved it. Him and dad would hit the balls down the green then Pete would run and grab them all and put them all in the hole, make sure you saw, then get them all out and go to the next hole. Can't wait to go again with him someday, when it is not raining and warmer. 
Learning to tee off with dad.
Lunch at Arby's the day Katie left to go home. She loved the "tutu" outfit Jamie was wearing with the ruffle on her bum. So sad to see Katie leave, we had a wonderful summer together as a family. Pete will miss her very much. They were the best of buds this summer as you can probably tell from the pictures. 
Me and my kids. 
Katie comforting Jamie at night which is when Jamie usually gets a little fussy and likes to be walked around. 
Me and my baby girl at dinner one night. 
Whenever Pete sees flowers he leans down to smell them. We taught him to do this at a very young age. Here is our handsome boy enjoying the garden at P.'s work. 
Gotta go, will give an update later. Have a great Labor Day weekend family and friends. AM
Jamie's first trip to the zoo. She slept the whole time. 
We got our faces painted at the zoo. Well, the boys have sea creatures on their hands, not faces. I have a monkey, Katie has a frog and Shamu, Pete had a stingray on his hand and dad had a shark. Pete was cautious of the painting at first but after that he wanted another one and kept showing it off. 
Dairy Queen after our trip to the zoo. He loves his ice cream, just like his mom.
Playing at the mall with his big sissy.
Jamie hanging out in her bouncer all wrapped up like a burrito. The following are two pictures with her eyes open. Yes dad, she has eyes.
Dinner at Chili's.
Sleepin on mom, handy ho.
Enjoying the new play toy.
Pete has figured out how to do a lot of dangerous things lately. Not good for when I am stuck on the couch nursing Jamie and I can't see or save him.....
Big sissy with little sissy.
Little angel.
Us, tired but happy.
Jamie's first doctor's appointment. She didn't enjoy it much.
