Let it Snow!

Last night P. and I kicked off our holiday season with a bang. Not only did we get our first snow, but a local radio station started playing continuous Christmas favorites while on our way to the Gerald R. Ford Museum for their annual Christmas Tree Lighting Celebration. It was a perfect night. By about dinner time it had started to flurry and I went outside to catch a few snowflakes. Who would have thought a Southern CA girl would have been so excited about the first snowfall of the winter? The tree lighting thing was fun with about 20 trees decorated differently by local groups. And we got to check out the Ford Museum for free. We had cookies and apple cider then headed home happy to have found a new Christmas tradition. I know it is a little early for Christmas but there is something extremely exciting about the upcoming holiday for me. I can't wait to get our tree, decorate the house, shop for family and friends and bake cookies. I look forward to pulling out my favorite Neil Diamond Christmas CD, spending long hours wrapping gifts and watching A Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life. Here are a couple pictures from last night. Happy Holidays to All.

19 weeks!

Today I am 19 weeks along! Can you believe it? Almost halfway done! And I am still alive! Baby is still alive! I know that sounds funny but as a first time mom you are almost surprised when each week passes and you are another week closer to being a mom and having a baby. 7 weeks ago I wasn't sure how I was going to make it much longer with the morning sickness and other symptoms and here I am. Still making it. Sometimes barely but I am making it. And this morning at my 19 week doctors appointment I heard the heartbeat. It beat at 150 beats/minute and sounded strong and perfect. I gained 2 1/2 lbs. A little less than I hoped for but it is a start. We are headed in the right direction. Last week helped by being at home with my parents. They made me eat, fixed me healthy meals and I didn't have to lift a finger. I was so well taken care of and well fed. My parents nurtured me as I nurtured my baby with food, lots of water and rest.

They measured my uterus for the first time today. It was 20cm and they said it was about average. I ran my complications by the doctor and they said the ultrasound next week will answer all our questions. I am curious why I feel so much pressure so low in my belly. I wonder what is causing my contractions and spotting. Next week at the ultrasound they will look at my placenta, measure my cervix and uterus and check to see if everything is OK. I am anxious to see how things look, how things are progressing and finally get some answers. I will either be relieved and reassured or we will have some new obstacles to face.

I feel pretty good. Morning sickness is still lingering but I think it is letting up a little bit. I was prescribed Pherergan about two weeks ago and took it for about a week. It makes me tired so it is hard to function while on it. I can't tell if it ever helped but I am back to dealing with the nausea on my own. The headaches have been miserable. But today I was told that its just another symptom of pregnancy and like everything else will eventually go away. The contractions have lessened with hydration but I still don't think dehydration was the problem. I drink a lot, a ton, of water and pee all day every day. And night. But who knows. Like with everything else, as long as the baby is still flip flopping around in there its OK.

Its good to be home. Don't get me wrong, I love CA. I mean besides the traffic and smog what is there not to love. The weather was sunny and warm, all my family and friends are there, there is plenty to do and see and they have some of my favorite restaurants. If I had more time and felt better I would have spent more time at the beach or tried to get to Disneyland, two of my favorite places in the world. But its good to be home, in my house, with my dogs, next to my husband in my slow paced, quiet life in MI.

Drano Test

While home in CA my best friend K. and I took the Drano Test. If you mix your urine with Drano crystals it is supposed to tell you if you are having a girl or boy. If the mixture turns brown it is a boy, stays yellow it is a girl. Mine turned brown. We took it a second time later that week and the results were inconclusive. The mixture didn't have the same reaction but within 5 minutes or so I had a brown line along the bottom and K.'s didn't. After researching the Drano test online I don't have much faith in it but it was still fun to do. We will just have to be patient and wait another week and a day to find out for sure.

California

Last week I spent the whole week at home in CA with my family. P. was away hunting and my wonderful parents offered to fly me home to spend the week with them. I am so glad they did. My trip was so nice. I got to see my family, my friends and spent one perfect afternoon in Laguna Beach with my dad. I rested, ate well and felt so well taken care of. Baby in my growing belly got to meet his/her grandparents and despite the usual morning sickness, headaches and contractions we did pretty well. It was hard to be away from P. and the girls for so long but being at home made the separation easier. Here are some pictures of my trip home. Thanks so much mom and dad!

I'm Back!

It's been two whole weeks since I have blogged. Boy do I have a lot to catch up on. I will briefly go back to a few highlights and move on. We will start with Halloween. This year P. had to work on Halloween night so I went over to a friends house and trick or treated as a hippie. It was a good time, got me out of the house and made me so excited to have my own kids soon and share these great fun holidays with.

Week 17!

According to the books, within the last week our little buckaroo has added yet another half inch to his overall height, making him nearly half a foot long! The umbilical cord, his lifeline to the placenta, is growing stronger and thicker. He can move his joints, and his skeleton, until now, rubbery cartilage, is starting to harden into bone. It’s amazing all the changes our little one goes through in one week!

I have been feeling a lot of movement lately but when I put my hand on my belly I can’t feel it from the outside yet. Which means P. can’t feel it yet and that is a bummer. My dreams have been crazy. This past weekend I dreamt that Tom Selleck was my doctor and he gave me an “ultrasound”. He opened up my belly, took the baby out, said it was a boy then put it back in. Last night I dreamed I was nursing a fish. I was so in love with my fish.

No good news on the morning sickness, migraines or gallons of saliva. Same old. But I am starting to look at it all like a way of life. I am more interested in my ballooning belly than anything right now. It has really made an appearance this past week and I love seeing and feeling the change. I have made a conscious effort to eat more lately. I can finally eat fruit again. It used to make me vomit. I still can’t eat vegetables, they make me nauseous just thinking about them. But they always have. I really want to eat vegetables because I know they are good for me and the baby but I deal with enough nausea that I can’t even think about making it worse.

P. has been busy with work and hunting. Abby seems to be feeling better, we will know more at her next appointment tomorrow. I still put drops in three times a day. Serra is as sweet and silly as ever. Nothing is ever wrong with that dog. I spend a lot of time resting. My uterus feels really, really low and since I have the time to rest I do. It can't hurt right? There won't be much rest 5 months from now, so I have heard...... :)

Pumpkins

P. and I carved pumpkins on Tuesday night. Here they are.

Week 16!

Week 16 feels like a milestone. I am getting really excited about the next few weeks and months. I thought it was a good time to take a picture of my belly....plus a couple friends were urging me to post one so they could see the sprout starting to grow.
The websites say that this week our baby is about the size of an avocado. His eyes are moving and he's even started growing toenails. They say that soon I should feel the baby move. Sometimes I think I feel a little flutter or twitch but I can’t be sure of what they are. They also say the baby hears external voices, sleeps and dreams by this week. He can open his mouth, move his lips, and swallow. He may be sucking his thumb and his facial muscles may lead to various expressions, such as squinting and frowning. I wish I could see those.

No change on the morning sickness. My nights are pretty miserable with strong waves of nausea coming and going. These days I concentrate on getting a good breakfast and lunch down before the sickness comes on and hope for the best at dinner. Lately it is rare that I get much down after 4pm or so. This worked pretty well for me over the weekend and I think I might have put on a pound or two. After our scare last week I am not too upset over the continued morning sickness. I am just thankful to still be pregnant. I am thankful for a lot of things. I bought a pair of comfy drawstring pants at Target this weekend that I love. I am extremely thankful for those. See pictures.

Update

Both Abby and I are healing. Wednesday we had quite a scare with the pregnancy. The cramping and spotting has gone away and I am doing just fine. I have been resting a lot and even got down a huge lunch at Panera Bread today. But boy was I scared. This pregnancy has been really rough but I love this baby so much. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost it. You don't understand the love of a mother until you are one. Today I am still a mom and I will put up with however many more days or months of morning sickness that I have to until this baby is born to us.

Abby seems to finally be getting better. I cannot be sure but yesterday she had another procedure done and we are praying it is the answer. The procedure was quite invasive but she is opening and using her eye more today than she has in the last month. She has new drops that don't bother her eye so much and she seems to have more energy. The doctor said we should see improvement within the next 5 days.......5 days seems like nothing compared to what we have been through. I need so much for this to finally be over and for Abby to start feeling better.

The weather is rainy and dark outside. I just lit some candles, curled up on the couch and am watching my favorite movie Moulin Rouge. Thanks for all your prayers.

The Sound of Life

Our baby's heartbeat was 157 this morning. The nurse found it immediately and said it was very strong. I laid there in silence hoping she wouldn't talk again so I could concentrate and soak it in. It's hard to explain in words the feeling of hearing the heartbeat. It means our baby is still living, growing and forming. For an expectant mother that is the best sound in the world. It is an immediate sense of relief, it warms your heart and it gives you a sense of accomplishment. Today I felt all of the above. And in 4 weeks I can hear it again and in 5 weeks I can see him or her. We have our 20 week ultrasound scheduled for Nov 20th at 11:15am. I hope and pray we have the opportunity to find out if our little buckaroo is a little boy or little girl. Everything else at my apt went well except for the fact that I have lost another 3 pounds. My doctor and nurse said that if the morning sickness doesn't ease up in a week that I need to go on an anti-nausea medicine so I can start eating more. They would like me to gain back the weight I lost this month and a little more if possible. Funny because gaining weight has never been hard for me. Eating a lot has always come easily. If someone told me before I was pregnant that I needed to gain weight it would have been a blessing. Now, it is a chore. It is almost 3pm and I can feel my daily "morning" sickness coming on. I just wish so bad that it would go away so I can start truly enjoying this amazing time in my life.

Yesterday was Serra's 5th birthday. We sang Happy Birthday to her and fed her a celebration hot dog. She is such a sweet dog. I just love her to death.

Week 15!

Today is the start of week 15! Each week I am so surprised and happy to have made it another 7 days. My tummy is growing, my appetite is growing and I have my next appointment tomorrow already. I am still dealing with morning sickness. As soon as I have the courage to say things are getting better they get worse. So we will just do like we do every week and hope this is the day things start to improve for good. I have started swimming at the gym and feel good about the new activity added to my life. My new favorite foods are frozen bean and cheese burritos and soft pretzels. Yum.

P. and I went camping again this past weekend. It was our last trip of the year, our last trip just the two of us. The next time we camp we will have an infant. That is really weird to think about. We took the dogs and had a nice time enjoying a much cooler but still beautiful weekend in the woods. If you compare the pictures of this weekend to last weekend's you will see the dramatic change in weather. Abby's eye is still not doing well so we kept her eye highly medicated all weekend and made sure she got lots of rest. I am going to call the Vet this week and see what the next step is because she is not healing. On a fun note, today is Serra's 5th birthday. We will cook her up a hot dog and serve it to her on our birthday plate tonight when P. gets home.
I will update again this week after my appointment. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat again. I should be able to have an ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby at the next apt. Wow, will that be something to look forward to!

Sweet Abby

My firstborn baby is sick and I am heartbroken over it. Abby hurt her eye about 2 weeks ago and after 3 Vet appointments and lots of medicines it is getting worse. If our last attempt doesn't work she will have to go see an opthamologist and maybe even lose her eye. They say she has an eye ulcer caused by a scratch, bee sting or infection. We caught it right away but even with all our efforts Abby is still miserable and I am distraught. There is nothing I can do to help her and every time I put her drops in she feels worse. It is so hard to watch my baby hurt and go through this. Please keep Abby in your prayers.

October?

Who would have guessed that on October 6th, 2007 I would be in my bikini at the lake getting a sun tan? P. and I camped this past weekend at Van Buren State Park. While it was too hot for P. to hunt we spent the weekend in shorts and flip-flops enjoying MI like it was the middle of summer. It was a gorgeous weekend. The leaves are turning, the breeze was refreshing and the lake was as beautiful as ever. Our campsite was perfect. Surrounded by trees, private and quiet. Saturday we happened upon a Cranberry Harvest at a local fruit farm and spent a lot of the day tasting cranberry foods, sauces, jams and juices. We took a hayride to the cranberry fields were we saw the harvest process. It was really neat. We came home with some dried cranberries that are delicious and some jam for my parents that I thought they would love. We shopped for Katie, our niece and nephew and the baby in the sweet little town of South Haven and had lunch at a small busy little diner/ice-cream parlor. On our way back to the campground we found a roadside pumpkin patch where we bought a couple pumpkins to carve up in the next couple of weeks. I love pumpkins! Carving them is a lot of fun for me and I can't wait to carve them with our kids someday. Not to mention I love pumpkin pie. We spent the rest of the afternoon at the lake sun tanning, people watching and taking in the sounds of the waves. One of my favorite sounds is the sound of waves crashing on the shore. I can listen to them for hours and feel so at peace. My other favorite sounds are the sound of my husband's boisterous laugh and Abby's big sleepy sigh.

For the most part I felt well enough to enjoy the trip. The morning sickness came and went as it pleased and my headaches were consistent. Saturday night I got a migraine that ended my happy weekend abruptly. Around 8pm it started getting so bad that I couldn't enjoy our campfire and by 9pm I headed inside for sleep and relief. Neither sleep or relief came. P. knew there was something very wrong with me when I passed on S'mores, another one of my favorite things. My migraine persisted for almost 24 hours so little to say I was anxious to get home and into my own bed. But even with the migraine from hell I had a nice time camping with my husband and was glad I went. I was proud of myself for toughing it out.

Book I am reading: The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy I borrowed from the library.
Cravings: Donuts and still lots of lemonade and cereal.
Pregnancy symptoms: Morning sickness, migraines, saliva, indigestion and the growing protective layers on my belly. P. and I call it my "voluptuous" tummy. I can tell my pants are getting tighter and more uncomfortable each day. I was quite embarrassed to be in my bikini Sat for fear of being "that woman that should not being wearing that"....
Funny quirks: I have to sleep now with pillows surrounding me. I need one for my head, legs and back and almost got up last night to add another one for my feet.
Shopping for baby: Anything dog. Dog books, dog pictures, dog outfits, dog toys, dog bowls, spoons, cups, dog blankets, dog anything.

According to the weather forecast October in MI will soon be feeling like October in MI. But that's OK, it has been a beautiful fall. We feel spoiled to have had such nice weather for so long. It's week 14 and I am feeling more safe and secure in my pregnancy. Some days it feels like I have been pregnant forever and some days it's hard to believe I have been expecting for over 3 months now. Even with all the uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms I still feel really well taken care of by God. I have come a long way and truly feel this is where I am supposed to be. Married to P., living in MI, expecting our first child together and establishing a strong, loving home and life here feels right.

The Food Network

My new thing is watching cooking shows on the Food Network. I watch everything including all the "challenges" and "cook-offs". I don't know why. Food is still hard for me to eat, smell and look at but there is something about these shows that is entertaining. I used to find them boring, and some still are, but right now they work. I really enjoy Paula Dean, she always makes the comfort foods like chili and cornbread or some sweet, rich dessert without ever sparing the fat. The more sugar or butter the better. That's what I say. :)

Well, October means the beginning of hunting season for P. and most of Michigan. With nights at ITT and hunting I am worried about becoming what they call a "Hunter's Widow". I spend a lot of days at home alone so I have become somewhat dependent on my husband's company at night. But I know it is what he loves to do and it only lasts a couple months so I can handle being "widowed" for a little while. I do hope to join him on a couple local camping/hunting trips this month but with how I have been feeling I just don't know if that is possible. I just take each day as it comes and hope for the best. As much as I maybe don't understand or support hunting I do support my husband and love him for who he is. He would do the same for me. So, good luck babe, I hope you have a fun and successful season.

I am currently reading The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy. So far so good. And I am entering my second official week of Bible Study Fellowship where we are studying the book of Matthew for 33 weeks. It is really hard to read and study the bible so deeply and intensely every day. It takes a lot of commitment and can get quite frustrating at times when I feel I am not understanding the lesson. But I am learning quickly and feel proud when I work hard and get it done. My next "life" goal is to start exercising again and prepare this tired body for the months ahead. It makes me tired just thinking about it.....

This Is No Fun

This past week has been one of the hardest weeks yet of my pregnancy. There was not a single day that my pregnancy symptoms let up long enough to give me any type of relief. It was a week of the worst morning sickness I have experienced with complete nausea all day increasing in intensity every evening. I had four days of strong, miserable migraines. Ones that make you sick to your stomach if you are not already. And on top of the gross and annoying large amounts of saliva that I have been dealing with now I have this full, bloated, gaseous stomach that only settles down when my stomach is empty and I can't let that happen. As soon as I eat anything, even if only a small bowl of cereal or piece of toast, the gas starts to build up and the pressure is extremely painful. I can let only bits of it out and the rest just continues to build until its hard to move or breathe. Good thing I know my husband loves me just the way I am and I know nothing, even these extremely unattractive pregnancy symptoms will change that. But lets just say I don't feel quite as sexy as he tells me I am.

If you looked at me today you wouldn't be able to tell that I was pregnant. I still weigh less than when got pregnant and there is no obvious tummy. But I can tell a difference in the look and feel of my stomach. I can see a little bump growing and it feels hard and full. It may just be the bloat but I don't think so. It's exciting to see and feel the slight changes in my lower abdomen and I think right now it is one of the only things keeping me from getting depressed. I know there are hundreds of thousands of women going through the same thing I am right now. And I know there are many women out there that experience morning sickness all 9 months. I can't even think about that right now. I just can't imagine feeling like this much longer. Even though millions of women go through this it doesn't make it any easier. I am still hopeful and optimistic that there will soon be an end to this. Maybe tomorrow will be the day. It would be nice to start a new week, week 13, and a new month with a new state of health and well-being. The hard part right now is not knowing. Will this last for another day, week, month, 6 months? When will I be able to start truly enjoying this pregnancy? Why me?

We did get to do something this weekend that I have wanted to do for a long time now. We had professional pictures of the dogs taken. They are my early anniversary present from P. and from what I saw they turned out perfectly. They are just what I wanted. The setting was beautiful, the dogs looked gorgeous and the ones we took of the whole family came out great. But most importantly I got a perfect picture of Abby that I will keep forever and ever. Abby is my best friend and there are many days over the past 7 years that I don't know what I would have done without her. Besides P. now, she is the most dependable, constant and unconditional companion I have ever had. We should receive our prints by our anniversary in Nov.

Well, time for bed. I always look forward to bedtime because at night only my weird dreams make me feel pregnant. It wasn't a great football day either with my Niners losing big and the Eagles falling apart before our eyes. Tomorrow is a new day. Will it be THE day?

12 Weeks and Drooling Like a Big Dog!

I am only going to complain about one thing because I only have one thing to complain about. The latest week of my pregnancy has brought on a new annoying symptom. Excessive salivating. So much I don't know what to do with it all. It's pretty gross and like I said very annoying. Why am I drooling like a dog? Is this really necessary? It's really an incredible amount of spit for one person to manufacture. I wish there was a magical answer or precise end date to this new symptom because I hate it. Like I promised, one complaint, no more.

I am still on an ultrasound high. I have looked at our baby's photos a million times. I wish I could see "him" moving around again. I wish I could see what "he" looks like this week compared to last week. I wonder what "he" is doing right now while I am sitting here watching t.v. thinking of "him". Yesterday I noticed my tummy getting a little plump, almost overnight. Probably because my appetite is returning though my morning sickness has yet to ease up. My new thing is Rice Krispies. I eat a lot of Rice Krispies and cereal in general. Usually two of my three meals a day are cereal. I can get it down, it's easy to make and it tastes good so I eat it. A lot of it.

Our wonderful friends J. and M. gave us their crib this past weekend. P. cleaned it up and we put it together. It was a beautiful gesture from our friends to share their family's keepsake with us and we feel honored to use it someday for our little one. We are very blessed. P. and I are very blessed. We are 12 weeks along, that is something to be thankful for.

Wow

It's hard to find other words than WOW right now. Wow.

We saw our baby today. Our moving, breathing, break dancing baby. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. This doctor appointment was all I expected it to be and more. Everything looks good, everything is on schedule and not only did we hear the baby's heartbeat but we saw our little buckaroo moving his arms, legs and body through an ultrasound. He did these flips like "the worm" move that break dancers do. It made us laugh. I say "he" but we really don't know the sex yet. "He" just seems to fit for now.

So, long story short......I am doing great, P. is great, baby is doing great and hopefully in another couple of weeks, or sooner, the morning sickness will ease up and the fun can begin. But it really feels like the fun began today. It's all so real now. So amazing and so real. There really is a little baby growing in there. P. and I held hands as the doctor showed us our baby's hands, legs, head, nose, eyes and mouth. I cried right at first and the rest of the time I was just in awe. And I had a smile that they could see from space. P. can't stop talking about how cool it was to see his little heartbeat racing and he teases me that he still looks red from the cherry Slurpee I drank a month ago. I was all worried I stained our baby red by drinking it. Funny.

I feel so happy. Today I feel like a mom for the first time.

Pictures

Here is a picture of me P. took Friday night. Serra was needing some attention so I sat down to hang out with her and Abby came to join us. Abby always has to have a toy with her. And here is another picture of my new Chicago Cubs shirt that I just love. My great hubby bought it for me and I am glad he did. In the background is one of my favorite fall decorations. It is a big fall wreath my sister-in-law J.H. made for me many, many years ago. I always make sure it graces a wall each year around this time.

P. caught about a 10 lb. salmon last night on Lake MI. He had another good one on the line right up next to the boat but it got away. We have 4 good sized filets in the freezer to enjoy now. Yay. I love salmon. Not so much lately since I have been pregnant but I am sure I will again soon.

I miss Dr Pepper

After my last post I realized I needed to do something to change my situation. I just couldn't live like a zombie anymore. So Thursday I got up determined to have a good day.... and I did. My morning started out slow as do most, but after lunch I got out of the house and went garage sale shopping. I found some fun sales and picked up some needed items for cheap. I went to McDonald's and treated myself to some lunch and a Dr Pepper which I have grudgingly cut out of my diet. It was so good. Boy have I missed those. I ran a few errands to the bank and post office and after being out for a couple hours I was feeling so good and the weather was so nice I didn't want to go home. So I wasted some more time and picked up P. after work and we had some dinner at a park. It was a great day. Once home that evening I started feeling nauseous again so we grabbed the girls and went for a walk at a park we love. The weather here has been so cool and beautiful lately that you can't help but want to be out in it enjoying the beautiful Michigan scenery. Friday was more of the same. Morning was slow, met P. for lunch at his work (they had a staff golf morning with lunch for staff and families), worked on a photo album for K. of her summer here with us, did some laundry and put up our fall house decorations. It was really neat because at the staff lunch they had giveaways and P. won 2 one month memberships at two different gyms. Since he is a runner I will use the memberships. Exercising is one of the things I wanted to get back into once I started feeling better and I love going to the gym. So this worked out very nicely for us. At least it will for 2 months. And I am volunteering at the Humane Society now. And I am starting a bible study next week that will be every Thurs morning for a few hours. So, all in all I think I have done a pretty good job in the last few days figuring out how to get out of my first trimester funk.

Now I can't say the morning sickness is gone because it reminds me every few hours that it is still around. And today, with all of our efforts to stay busy I got sick around 6pm and it has relentlessly taken me down for the night. P. is out salmon fishing on Lake MI tonight and I am headed to bed. But I am going to bed knowing I am one day closer to feeling better and happy out baby is still living and growing in my belly. I have a new plan and feel good about it.

What to do?

I think I need a hobby or a project to concentrate on. I would love to be selling on eBay right now but I don't have anything to sell. I thought of a couple things today. I could clean the basement. We use our basement as storage and it could use some cleaning and organizing. It would be a good project to keep me busy for a few days. I could try to read or paint or crochet. But I don't really like to read, I am a terrible painter and I don't know how to crochet.

The past couple of days have been more of the same. I am getting quite a bit of sleep though. About 11-12 hours a night. I used to be lucky if I got 6-7 hours. I am feeling pretty lazy but rested. I tried some new pregnancy exercises today that I saw on The View. It felt good to use the muscles that used to be so active and tone but that I only use now to get in and out of bed.