21 Weeks 2 Days!

This is week 21 of my pregnancy! We have known about our little boy now for over a week and I have no regrets about finding out he is a boy. Everything is different now. I think in all boy. Boy things, boy colors, boy talk, boy life. I grabbed a few books at the library yesterday. 2 baby names books and one called Raising Boys. I figured I needed to get ready for all the testosterone and energy headed my way. I have never really understood boys. Why they think and act certain ways has always been confusing and frustrating. I need to learn about how God made them and how to raise them. It's funny, because I always knew he was a boy. When P. and I look back at the conception we think girl but in my heart I always felt boy. I wished for a boy for my husband. When we saw him on the ultrasound at 11 1/2 weeks he looked like a boy. I always called him "he" and if you look at everything we bought prior to knowing it leans towards boy.

My weekly email update said he weighs almost a pound now. He is as long as a carrot and his eyelids and eyebrows are fully formed. They say you can most certainly feel him move now and that is for sure. He is a mover and a shaker and I love it. Well, most of the time. I am eating a lot now, gaining weight and the nausea has eased up quite a bit. I still have a hard time with certain smells and never truly feel like eating but never have a problem getting it down. The contractions are just a way of life now. I have them almost every day, sometimes all day or all night. Some are painful and some don't hurt at all. But they keep coming and I usually lay down, drink some water and wait them out. They feel like a hard rock expanding in my lower abdomen and last anywhere from 10 seconds to a minute. I will address them again with my doctor Dec 10th but right now they don't worry me too much. The spotting only happens now if I do too much so I avoid that as much as possible and it has been almost 3 weeks now since I have spotted. I still have headaches a couple times a week but am usually able to treat them right away with some doctor prescribed medicines and rest. My legs are starting to hurt though. Not sure if it is from the extra weight, bad posture, sleeping on my sides or varicose veins but they are achy and annoying. I don't sleep that well because I can't get comfortable. And my tummy isn't even that big yet....just wait huh? But overall things are improving and going well. I am encouraged. I am encouraged to find the perfect baby boy name for our son, encouraged to work on the nursery, encouraged to learn how to raise my son wisely, encouraged to get the house ready for our new addition and encouraged to have a wonderful Christmas holiday. So far so good.

A few other updates.....

*At the ultrasound they moved my due date from April 9 to April 6.
*Abby's eye is all healed up and she is happy and healthy. Except she doesn't like the recent bitter cold weather.

*I am almost done Christmas shopping. Besides a few local friends and P. I am ready to ship out my gifts before the holiday rush.

*We are shopping for carpet. The carpet in our dining room, bedroom and hallway is original carpet when the house was built and it is so old, stained and faded. I am shocked at how expensive carpet is and am not sure we are going to be able to make the upgrade anytime soon.

*And.....we decorated our huge, fat, tall Christmas tree Monday night. We listened to my Neil Diamond Christmas CD and managed our way about our very wide tree carefully with lights, beads and ornaments. Abby was all interested in what we were doing. Serra was a little nervous about all the excitement but in the end posed for a cute picture with our finished tree. Enjoy.

2 Years And Counting!

P. and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary yesterday. Can you believe it has been 2 years already? I have lived in MI for 2 years now. Some days it seems like 2 years has flown by and some days it feels like I have been married to P. forever. And to top it off I am pregnant with our first child! What an eventful 2 years.

I have to admit the first year of our marriage was really hard. It was hard to leave my job and friends in CO and move to a place where I didn't know anyone and couldn't find a good job like the one I had at the Navigators. And the weather was miserable. The day I moved here two years ago it started to snow and snowed for 21 days straight. It was followed by 16 straight days of no sun. I questioned, "What have I done?" on a daily basis. Then on top of the new marriage and new place I had a new step-daughter and ex-wife. Let's just say.....things were not easy. But we have come a long way since then. My marriage is strong, full of love and joy, and gets better every day. My relationship with P. is trusting and honoring. He is my best friend and we are an amazing team. We have a beautiful home, great dogs, new friends and always have enough food on the table and love in our home. I made the best decision of my life 2 years ago when I married P. on that perfect day in Laguna Beach, CA.

We celebrated our anniversary last night with chocolate dessert at the Melting Pot. It was so good. I am sure our little man is going to be a dessert lover with the amount of sugar I provide him.

Oh, and we got a new car this weekend. We needed a bigger, 4-door car for the baby. It just happened that after we got our tree Sat. we saw a 98 Honda Accord for sale on the road. We stopped, drove it, thought it was perfect for us and bought it. It is a weight off our shoulders to have a car that will work for our growing family now. We will put the Accord Coupe up for sale sometime this month. I would love to drive it as long as possible before I have to move to my slower, more mommy-like car but we have to do what we have to do. But I am happy with my new Honda, it is still me, just a little slower. But that's what kids do to your cars....

Happy Thanksgiving!

We spent Thanksgiving this year up at the Soaring Eagle Casino in Mt. Pleasant, MI. It was a nice time with P.'s parents, brother, niece and nephew eating the turkey buffet and playing some games. We celebrated again today with our own Thanksgiving feast at home. It was wonderful. We had turkey, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cornbread muffins and cranberry sauce. I was pretty proud of my first Thanksgiving Dinner and feel better about having a family to cook for someday.

Yesterday we decorated the house and put up lights. It looks so beautiful and festive. I love my decorations. It's almost like each one has its own story and special meaning to me. I would love to get more but that would call for a bigger house.

Check out our Christmas tree! We cut our own today on some land up north. It was only $18 and is big, beautiful and smells really good and fresh! It looked a lot smaller out in the woods and does a good job of filling up our front window and more. I will put up a picture after we get it all decorated and stuff.

I love the holidays. Don't you?

It's A Boy!

I look like a huge whale all spread out on that bed. But a happy whale. Besides my wedding, the ultrasound today was the happiest hour of my life. We saw our little boy, his hands, his legs, his heart.....everything. For the first time I am at a loss for words. I can't even begin to describe the joy I felt today.

This is a picture of P. and I right after the ultrasound was finished in the hospital. P. held my hand through the whole thing.

Here is our little boy from the right side. It is a profile view of his head on the far left, neck, body and arm at the bottom. You can kind of see his leg wrapped up next to him on the far, far right and the little dot above his chest is apparently the umbilical cord floating around up there. I love this picture because it looks like he has chubby cheeks like me.



Here are his feet. You can see the bottom of his left foot on the left and a side view of his right foot on the right. The right foot is turned down and you can see his two leg bones, the fibia and the tibia then his heel and the side of his right foot. He was moving all over the place the whole time so I am so glad we got such a sweet picture of his little feet and toesies. Guess I am turning into a real mom using words like toesies.....



I call this one this alien picture. You will see his very alien like face on the right with his big eyes, nose and mouth. He is looking right at us. You can see his body to the left of his head with the dark spot being his heart. Amazing huh?



And here is the picture that made P. and I both cry. It's hard to figure out unless you know what you are looking for so I will try to help. On the left you will see three objects. The top object is a butt cheek, the bottom object is a butt cheek and in between you will see his little pee pee. P. says not to call it little. But there it is, plain as day, between his cute little butt cheeks....our little boy. Our nurse said, definitely, it is a boy. We got our boy.

Here is another profile picture of our kiddo. His head is on the right with body on the left. I liked this one because its almost like I can see his cheek bones, nose and lips. They are so sweet looking. And above his little face is another object, it isn't the umbilical cord this time, it is his elbow. His arm was up there moving around when she took this picture.

Again he is looking right at us. His head/face is on the right with just his chest on the left. This is a funny picture. It makes me laugh. He looks pretty goofy, almost like a little old Asian man, squinting and laughing. But you can definitely see his eyes, nose, lips/mouth and heart in this one. As I write he is kicking me in my right hip, saying time to pee and go to bed mama.




And last but not least, my favorite picture....our little boy's face. Up close and smiling at us. All you can see is his head, his face. On his face you can see his eyes, his nose and his open mouth that looks like a smile, or like he is talking to us, saying hi. It's almost like I can see his personality, even in the womb.
So, there he is. Our baby boy. In 20 weeks he will be born to us and we will be a family. I am very blessed. God is good. He answers prayers. He takes care of us and loves us even when we don't deserve it. He gives us gifts, like our children, to make life meaningful and fulfilled. The struggles only make us stronger. What a day. What a beautiful life I have. And the best is yet to come.

Feels Like Christmas Eve and Christmas is Tomorrow....

It is the night before our ultrasound and I am going through a whole mess of feelings and emotions. First, I am really excited. Second I am nervous, anxious, happy, eager, distracted and restless. I have kept myself busy today to help pass the time. My friend R. came over for a few hours which helped a lot. My nesting instinct has set in and all of a sudden I feel an urgent need to get my house in order before the baby comes. I worked on the nursery today. I went through my closet and cleared out everything that doesn't fit anymore. Amazing how I have lost weight but nothing fits anymore. I am still about 8 lbs lighter than when I got pregnant but pants are not big enough and shirts are not long enough. Supposedly there is a chance K. might be in town this weekend so I spent some time on her room. It would be great if we could see her and finally get to share the news with her in person.

So, tomorrow is the big day. Feels like I have been waiting for this day all my life. I pray the baby is healthy and everything is OK. I hope and pray we find out if it is a girl or a boy. I don't know what I would do if we didn't have the opportunity to find out. I am just so excited. P. took the day off tomorrow to take me to my appointment and spend the day with me. He is such a great husband. I will update my blog tomorrow with hopefully some good news and a picture of our little boy or girl.

Last Night

Last night P. and I were watching the movie Blood Diamond when I felt a few big kicks from our little one. I put P.'s hand on my belly and he felt his first kick from our very active baby. I was so excited to finally share the movement with him!

Let it Snow!

Last night P. and I kicked off our holiday season with a bang. Not only did we get our first snow, but a local radio station started playing continuous Christmas favorites while on our way to the Gerald R. Ford Museum for their annual Christmas Tree Lighting Celebration. It was a perfect night. By about dinner time it had started to flurry and I went outside to catch a few snowflakes. Who would have thought a Southern CA girl would have been so excited about the first snowfall of the winter? The tree lighting thing was fun with about 20 trees decorated differently by local groups. And we got to check out the Ford Museum for free. We had cookies and apple cider then headed home happy to have found a new Christmas tradition. I know it is a little early for Christmas but there is something extremely exciting about the upcoming holiday for me. I can't wait to get our tree, decorate the house, shop for family and friends and bake cookies. I look forward to pulling out my favorite Neil Diamond Christmas CD, spending long hours wrapping gifts and watching A Christmas Story and It's a Wonderful Life. Here are a couple pictures from last night. Happy Holidays to All.

19 weeks!

Today I am 19 weeks along! Can you believe it? Almost halfway done! And I am still alive! Baby is still alive! I know that sounds funny but as a first time mom you are almost surprised when each week passes and you are another week closer to being a mom and having a baby. 7 weeks ago I wasn't sure how I was going to make it much longer with the morning sickness and other symptoms and here I am. Still making it. Sometimes barely but I am making it. And this morning at my 19 week doctors appointment I heard the heartbeat. It beat at 150 beats/minute and sounded strong and perfect. I gained 2 1/2 lbs. A little less than I hoped for but it is a start. We are headed in the right direction. Last week helped by being at home with my parents. They made me eat, fixed me healthy meals and I didn't have to lift a finger. I was so well taken care of and well fed. My parents nurtured me as I nurtured my baby with food, lots of water and rest.

They measured my uterus for the first time today. It was 20cm and they said it was about average. I ran my complications by the doctor and they said the ultrasound next week will answer all our questions. I am curious why I feel so much pressure so low in my belly. I wonder what is causing my contractions and spotting. Next week at the ultrasound they will look at my placenta, measure my cervix and uterus and check to see if everything is OK. I am anxious to see how things look, how things are progressing and finally get some answers. I will either be relieved and reassured or we will have some new obstacles to face.

I feel pretty good. Morning sickness is still lingering but I think it is letting up a little bit. I was prescribed Pherergan about two weeks ago and took it for about a week. It makes me tired so it is hard to function while on it. I can't tell if it ever helped but I am back to dealing with the nausea on my own. The headaches have been miserable. But today I was told that its just another symptom of pregnancy and like everything else will eventually go away. The contractions have lessened with hydration but I still don't think dehydration was the problem. I drink a lot, a ton, of water and pee all day every day. And night. But who knows. Like with everything else, as long as the baby is still flip flopping around in there its OK.

Its good to be home. Don't get me wrong, I love CA. I mean besides the traffic and smog what is there not to love. The weather was sunny and warm, all my family and friends are there, there is plenty to do and see and they have some of my favorite restaurants. If I had more time and felt better I would have spent more time at the beach or tried to get to Disneyland, two of my favorite places in the world. But its good to be home, in my house, with my dogs, next to my husband in my slow paced, quiet life in MI.

Drano Test

While home in CA my best friend K. and I took the Drano Test. If you mix your urine with Drano crystals it is supposed to tell you if you are having a girl or boy. If the mixture turns brown it is a boy, stays yellow it is a girl. Mine turned brown. We took it a second time later that week and the results were inconclusive. The mixture didn't have the same reaction but within 5 minutes or so I had a brown line along the bottom and K.'s didn't. After researching the Drano test online I don't have much faith in it but it was still fun to do. We will just have to be patient and wait another week and a day to find out for sure.

California

Last week I spent the whole week at home in CA with my family. P. was away hunting and my wonderful parents offered to fly me home to spend the week with them. I am so glad they did. My trip was so nice. I got to see my family, my friends and spent one perfect afternoon in Laguna Beach with my dad. I rested, ate well and felt so well taken care of. Baby in my growing belly got to meet his/her grandparents and despite the usual morning sickness, headaches and contractions we did pretty well. It was hard to be away from P. and the girls for so long but being at home made the separation easier. Here are some pictures of my trip home. Thanks so much mom and dad!

I'm Back!

It's been two whole weeks since I have blogged. Boy do I have a lot to catch up on. I will briefly go back to a few highlights and move on. We will start with Halloween. This year P. had to work on Halloween night so I went over to a friends house and trick or treated as a hippie. It was a good time, got me out of the house and made me so excited to have my own kids soon and share these great fun holidays with.

Week 17!

According to the books, within the last week our little buckaroo has added yet another half inch to his overall height, making him nearly half a foot long! The umbilical cord, his lifeline to the placenta, is growing stronger and thicker. He can move his joints, and his skeleton, until now, rubbery cartilage, is starting to harden into bone. It’s amazing all the changes our little one goes through in one week!

I have been feeling a lot of movement lately but when I put my hand on my belly I can’t feel it from the outside yet. Which means P. can’t feel it yet and that is a bummer. My dreams have been crazy. This past weekend I dreamt that Tom Selleck was my doctor and he gave me an “ultrasound”. He opened up my belly, took the baby out, said it was a boy then put it back in. Last night I dreamed I was nursing a fish. I was so in love with my fish.

No good news on the morning sickness, migraines or gallons of saliva. Same old. But I am starting to look at it all like a way of life. I am more interested in my ballooning belly than anything right now. It has really made an appearance this past week and I love seeing and feeling the change. I have made a conscious effort to eat more lately. I can finally eat fruit again. It used to make me vomit. I still can’t eat vegetables, they make me nauseous just thinking about them. But they always have. I really want to eat vegetables because I know they are good for me and the baby but I deal with enough nausea that I can’t even think about making it worse.

P. has been busy with work and hunting. Abby seems to be feeling better, we will know more at her next appointment tomorrow. I still put drops in three times a day. Serra is as sweet and silly as ever. Nothing is ever wrong with that dog. I spend a lot of time resting. My uterus feels really, really low and since I have the time to rest I do. It can't hurt right? There won't be much rest 5 months from now, so I have heard...... :)

Pumpkins

P. and I carved pumpkins on Tuesday night. Here they are.

Week 16!

Week 16 feels like a milestone. I am getting really excited about the next few weeks and months. I thought it was a good time to take a picture of my belly....plus a couple friends were urging me to post one so they could see the sprout starting to grow.
The websites say that this week our baby is about the size of an avocado. His eyes are moving and he's even started growing toenails. They say that soon I should feel the baby move. Sometimes I think I feel a little flutter or twitch but I can’t be sure of what they are. They also say the baby hears external voices, sleeps and dreams by this week. He can open his mouth, move his lips, and swallow. He may be sucking his thumb and his facial muscles may lead to various expressions, such as squinting and frowning. I wish I could see those.

No change on the morning sickness. My nights are pretty miserable with strong waves of nausea coming and going. These days I concentrate on getting a good breakfast and lunch down before the sickness comes on and hope for the best at dinner. Lately it is rare that I get much down after 4pm or so. This worked pretty well for me over the weekend and I think I might have put on a pound or two. After our scare last week I am not too upset over the continued morning sickness. I am just thankful to still be pregnant. I am thankful for a lot of things. I bought a pair of comfy drawstring pants at Target this weekend that I love. I am extremely thankful for those. See pictures.

Update

Both Abby and I are healing. Wednesday we had quite a scare with the pregnancy. The cramping and spotting has gone away and I am doing just fine. I have been resting a lot and even got down a huge lunch at Panera Bread today. But boy was I scared. This pregnancy has been really rough but I love this baby so much. I don't know what I would have done if I had lost it. You don't understand the love of a mother until you are one. Today I am still a mom and I will put up with however many more days or months of morning sickness that I have to until this baby is born to us.

Abby seems to finally be getting better. I cannot be sure but yesterday she had another procedure done and we are praying it is the answer. The procedure was quite invasive but she is opening and using her eye more today than she has in the last month. She has new drops that don't bother her eye so much and she seems to have more energy. The doctor said we should see improvement within the next 5 days.......5 days seems like nothing compared to what we have been through. I need so much for this to finally be over and for Abby to start feeling better.

The weather is rainy and dark outside. I just lit some candles, curled up on the couch and am watching my favorite movie Moulin Rouge. Thanks for all your prayers.

The Sound of Life

Our baby's heartbeat was 157 this morning. The nurse found it immediately and said it was very strong. I laid there in silence hoping she wouldn't talk again so I could concentrate and soak it in. It's hard to explain in words the feeling of hearing the heartbeat. It means our baby is still living, growing and forming. For an expectant mother that is the best sound in the world. It is an immediate sense of relief, it warms your heart and it gives you a sense of accomplishment. Today I felt all of the above. And in 4 weeks I can hear it again and in 5 weeks I can see him or her. We have our 20 week ultrasound scheduled for Nov 20th at 11:15am. I hope and pray we have the opportunity to find out if our little buckaroo is a little boy or little girl. Everything else at my apt went well except for the fact that I have lost another 3 pounds. My doctor and nurse said that if the morning sickness doesn't ease up in a week that I need to go on an anti-nausea medicine so I can start eating more. They would like me to gain back the weight I lost this month and a little more if possible. Funny because gaining weight has never been hard for me. Eating a lot has always come easily. If someone told me before I was pregnant that I needed to gain weight it would have been a blessing. Now, it is a chore. It is almost 3pm and I can feel my daily "morning" sickness coming on. I just wish so bad that it would go away so I can start truly enjoying this amazing time in my life.

Yesterday was Serra's 5th birthday. We sang Happy Birthday to her and fed her a celebration hot dog. She is such a sweet dog. I just love her to death.

Week 15!

Today is the start of week 15! Each week I am so surprised and happy to have made it another 7 days. My tummy is growing, my appetite is growing and I have my next appointment tomorrow already. I am still dealing with morning sickness. As soon as I have the courage to say things are getting better they get worse. So we will just do like we do every week and hope this is the day things start to improve for good. I have started swimming at the gym and feel good about the new activity added to my life. My new favorite foods are frozen bean and cheese burritos and soft pretzels. Yum.

P. and I went camping again this past weekend. It was our last trip of the year, our last trip just the two of us. The next time we camp we will have an infant. That is really weird to think about. We took the dogs and had a nice time enjoying a much cooler but still beautiful weekend in the woods. If you compare the pictures of this weekend to last weekend's you will see the dramatic change in weather. Abby's eye is still not doing well so we kept her eye highly medicated all weekend and made sure she got lots of rest. I am going to call the Vet this week and see what the next step is because she is not healing. On a fun note, today is Serra's 5th birthday. We will cook her up a hot dog and serve it to her on our birthday plate tonight when P. gets home.
I will update again this week after my appointment. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat again. I should be able to have an ultrasound to find out the sex of our baby at the next apt. Wow, will that be something to look forward to!

Sweet Abby

My firstborn baby is sick and I am heartbroken over it. Abby hurt her eye about 2 weeks ago and after 3 Vet appointments and lots of medicines it is getting worse. If our last attempt doesn't work she will have to go see an opthamologist and maybe even lose her eye. They say she has an eye ulcer caused by a scratch, bee sting or infection. We caught it right away but even with all our efforts Abby is still miserable and I am distraught. There is nothing I can do to help her and every time I put her drops in she feels worse. It is so hard to watch my baby hurt and go through this. Please keep Abby in your prayers.

October?

Who would have guessed that on October 6th, 2007 I would be in my bikini at the lake getting a sun tan? P. and I camped this past weekend at Van Buren State Park. While it was too hot for P. to hunt we spent the weekend in shorts and flip-flops enjoying MI like it was the middle of summer. It was a gorgeous weekend. The leaves are turning, the breeze was refreshing and the lake was as beautiful as ever. Our campsite was perfect. Surrounded by trees, private and quiet. Saturday we happened upon a Cranberry Harvest at a local fruit farm and spent a lot of the day tasting cranberry foods, sauces, jams and juices. We took a hayride to the cranberry fields were we saw the harvest process. It was really neat. We came home with some dried cranberries that are delicious and some jam for my parents that I thought they would love. We shopped for Katie, our niece and nephew and the baby in the sweet little town of South Haven and had lunch at a small busy little diner/ice-cream parlor. On our way back to the campground we found a roadside pumpkin patch where we bought a couple pumpkins to carve up in the next couple of weeks. I love pumpkins! Carving them is a lot of fun for me and I can't wait to carve them with our kids someday. Not to mention I love pumpkin pie. We spent the rest of the afternoon at the lake sun tanning, people watching and taking in the sounds of the waves. One of my favorite sounds is the sound of waves crashing on the shore. I can listen to them for hours and feel so at peace. My other favorite sounds are the sound of my husband's boisterous laugh and Abby's big sleepy sigh.

For the most part I felt well enough to enjoy the trip. The morning sickness came and went as it pleased and my headaches were consistent. Saturday night I got a migraine that ended my happy weekend abruptly. Around 8pm it started getting so bad that I couldn't enjoy our campfire and by 9pm I headed inside for sleep and relief. Neither sleep or relief came. P. knew there was something very wrong with me when I passed on S'mores, another one of my favorite things. My migraine persisted for almost 24 hours so little to say I was anxious to get home and into my own bed. But even with the migraine from hell I had a nice time camping with my husband and was glad I went. I was proud of myself for toughing it out.

Book I am reading: The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy I borrowed from the library.
Cravings: Donuts and still lots of lemonade and cereal.
Pregnancy symptoms: Morning sickness, migraines, saliva, indigestion and the growing protective layers on my belly. P. and I call it my "voluptuous" tummy. I can tell my pants are getting tighter and more uncomfortable each day. I was quite embarrassed to be in my bikini Sat for fear of being "that woman that should not being wearing that"....
Funny quirks: I have to sleep now with pillows surrounding me. I need one for my head, legs and back and almost got up last night to add another one for my feet.
Shopping for baby: Anything dog. Dog books, dog pictures, dog outfits, dog toys, dog bowls, spoons, cups, dog blankets, dog anything.

According to the weather forecast October in MI will soon be feeling like October in MI. But that's OK, it has been a beautiful fall. We feel spoiled to have had such nice weather for so long. It's week 14 and I am feeling more safe and secure in my pregnancy. Some days it feels like I have been pregnant forever and some days it's hard to believe I have been expecting for over 3 months now. Even with all the uncomfortable pregnancy symptoms I still feel really well taken care of by God. I have come a long way and truly feel this is where I am supposed to be. Married to P., living in MI, expecting our first child together and establishing a strong, loving home and life here feels right.

The Food Network

My new thing is watching cooking shows on the Food Network. I watch everything including all the "challenges" and "cook-offs". I don't know why. Food is still hard for me to eat, smell and look at but there is something about these shows that is entertaining. I used to find them boring, and some still are, but right now they work. I really enjoy Paula Dean, she always makes the comfort foods like chili and cornbread or some sweet, rich dessert without ever sparing the fat. The more sugar or butter the better. That's what I say. :)

Well, October means the beginning of hunting season for P. and most of Michigan. With nights at ITT and hunting I am worried about becoming what they call a "Hunter's Widow". I spend a lot of days at home alone so I have become somewhat dependent on my husband's company at night. But I know it is what he loves to do and it only lasts a couple months so I can handle being "widowed" for a little while. I do hope to join him on a couple local camping/hunting trips this month but with how I have been feeling I just don't know if that is possible. I just take each day as it comes and hope for the best. As much as I maybe don't understand or support hunting I do support my husband and love him for who he is. He would do the same for me. So, good luck babe, I hope you have a fun and successful season.

I am currently reading The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy. So far so good. And I am entering my second official week of Bible Study Fellowship where we are studying the book of Matthew for 33 weeks. It is really hard to read and study the bible so deeply and intensely every day. It takes a lot of commitment and can get quite frustrating at times when I feel I am not understanding the lesson. But I am learning quickly and feel proud when I work hard and get it done. My next "life" goal is to start exercising again and prepare this tired body for the months ahead. It makes me tired just thinking about it.....

This Is No Fun

This past week has been one of the hardest weeks yet of my pregnancy. There was not a single day that my pregnancy symptoms let up long enough to give me any type of relief. It was a week of the worst morning sickness I have experienced with complete nausea all day increasing in intensity every evening. I had four days of strong, miserable migraines. Ones that make you sick to your stomach if you are not already. And on top of the gross and annoying large amounts of saliva that I have been dealing with now I have this full, bloated, gaseous stomach that only settles down when my stomach is empty and I can't let that happen. As soon as I eat anything, even if only a small bowl of cereal or piece of toast, the gas starts to build up and the pressure is extremely painful. I can let only bits of it out and the rest just continues to build until its hard to move or breathe. Good thing I know my husband loves me just the way I am and I know nothing, even these extremely unattractive pregnancy symptoms will change that. But lets just say I don't feel quite as sexy as he tells me I am.

If you looked at me today you wouldn't be able to tell that I was pregnant. I still weigh less than when got pregnant and there is no obvious tummy. But I can tell a difference in the look and feel of my stomach. I can see a little bump growing and it feels hard and full. It may just be the bloat but I don't think so. It's exciting to see and feel the slight changes in my lower abdomen and I think right now it is one of the only things keeping me from getting depressed. I know there are hundreds of thousands of women going through the same thing I am right now. And I know there are many women out there that experience morning sickness all 9 months. I can't even think about that right now. I just can't imagine feeling like this much longer. Even though millions of women go through this it doesn't make it any easier. I am still hopeful and optimistic that there will soon be an end to this. Maybe tomorrow will be the day. It would be nice to start a new week, week 13, and a new month with a new state of health and well-being. The hard part right now is not knowing. Will this last for another day, week, month, 6 months? When will I be able to start truly enjoying this pregnancy? Why me?

We did get to do something this weekend that I have wanted to do for a long time now. We had professional pictures of the dogs taken. They are my early anniversary present from P. and from what I saw they turned out perfectly. They are just what I wanted. The setting was beautiful, the dogs looked gorgeous and the ones we took of the whole family came out great. But most importantly I got a perfect picture of Abby that I will keep forever and ever. Abby is my best friend and there are many days over the past 7 years that I don't know what I would have done without her. Besides P. now, she is the most dependable, constant and unconditional companion I have ever had. We should receive our prints by our anniversary in Nov.

Well, time for bed. I always look forward to bedtime because at night only my weird dreams make me feel pregnant. It wasn't a great football day either with my Niners losing big and the Eagles falling apart before our eyes. Tomorrow is a new day. Will it be THE day?

12 Weeks and Drooling Like a Big Dog!

I am only going to complain about one thing because I only have one thing to complain about. The latest week of my pregnancy has brought on a new annoying symptom. Excessive salivating. So much I don't know what to do with it all. It's pretty gross and like I said very annoying. Why am I drooling like a dog? Is this really necessary? It's really an incredible amount of spit for one person to manufacture. I wish there was a magical answer or precise end date to this new symptom because I hate it. Like I promised, one complaint, no more.

I am still on an ultrasound high. I have looked at our baby's photos a million times. I wish I could see "him" moving around again. I wish I could see what "he" looks like this week compared to last week. I wonder what "he" is doing right now while I am sitting here watching t.v. thinking of "him". Yesterday I noticed my tummy getting a little plump, almost overnight. Probably because my appetite is returning though my morning sickness has yet to ease up. My new thing is Rice Krispies. I eat a lot of Rice Krispies and cereal in general. Usually two of my three meals a day are cereal. I can get it down, it's easy to make and it tastes good so I eat it. A lot of it.

Our wonderful friends J. and M. gave us their crib this past weekend. P. cleaned it up and we put it together. It was a beautiful gesture from our friends to share their family's keepsake with us and we feel honored to use it someday for our little one. We are very blessed. P. and I are very blessed. We are 12 weeks along, that is something to be thankful for.

Wow

It's hard to find other words than WOW right now. Wow.

We saw our baby today. Our moving, breathing, break dancing baby. It was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. This doctor appointment was all I expected it to be and more. Everything looks good, everything is on schedule and not only did we hear the baby's heartbeat but we saw our little buckaroo moving his arms, legs and body through an ultrasound. He did these flips like "the worm" move that break dancers do. It made us laugh. I say "he" but we really don't know the sex yet. "He" just seems to fit for now.

So, long story short......I am doing great, P. is great, baby is doing great and hopefully in another couple of weeks, or sooner, the morning sickness will ease up and the fun can begin. But it really feels like the fun began today. It's all so real now. So amazing and so real. There really is a little baby growing in there. P. and I held hands as the doctor showed us our baby's hands, legs, head, nose, eyes and mouth. I cried right at first and the rest of the time I was just in awe. And I had a smile that they could see from space. P. can't stop talking about how cool it was to see his little heartbeat racing and he teases me that he still looks red from the cherry Slurpee I drank a month ago. I was all worried I stained our baby red by drinking it. Funny.

I feel so happy. Today I feel like a mom for the first time.

Pictures

Here is a picture of me P. took Friday night. Serra was needing some attention so I sat down to hang out with her and Abby came to join us. Abby always has to have a toy with her. And here is another picture of my new Chicago Cubs shirt that I just love. My great hubby bought it for me and I am glad he did. In the background is one of my favorite fall decorations. It is a big fall wreath my sister-in-law J.H. made for me many, many years ago. I always make sure it graces a wall each year around this time.

P. caught about a 10 lb. salmon last night on Lake MI. He had another good one on the line right up next to the boat but it got away. We have 4 good sized filets in the freezer to enjoy now. Yay. I love salmon. Not so much lately since I have been pregnant but I am sure I will again soon.

I miss Dr Pepper

After my last post I realized I needed to do something to change my situation. I just couldn't live like a zombie anymore. So Thursday I got up determined to have a good day.... and I did. My morning started out slow as do most, but after lunch I got out of the house and went garage sale shopping. I found some fun sales and picked up some needed items for cheap. I went to McDonald's and treated myself to some lunch and a Dr Pepper which I have grudgingly cut out of my diet. It was so good. Boy have I missed those. I ran a few errands to the bank and post office and after being out for a couple hours I was feeling so good and the weather was so nice I didn't want to go home. So I wasted some more time and picked up P. after work and we had some dinner at a park. It was a great day. Once home that evening I started feeling nauseous again so we grabbed the girls and went for a walk at a park we love. The weather here has been so cool and beautiful lately that you can't help but want to be out in it enjoying the beautiful Michigan scenery. Friday was more of the same. Morning was slow, met P. for lunch at his work (they had a staff golf morning with lunch for staff and families), worked on a photo album for K. of her summer here with us, did some laundry and put up our fall house decorations. It was really neat because at the staff lunch they had giveaways and P. won 2 one month memberships at two different gyms. Since he is a runner I will use the memberships. Exercising is one of the things I wanted to get back into once I started feeling better and I love going to the gym. So this worked out very nicely for us. At least it will for 2 months. And I am volunteering at the Humane Society now. And I am starting a bible study next week that will be every Thurs morning for a few hours. So, all in all I think I have done a pretty good job in the last few days figuring out how to get out of my first trimester funk.

Now I can't say the morning sickness is gone because it reminds me every few hours that it is still around. And today, with all of our efforts to stay busy I got sick around 6pm and it has relentlessly taken me down for the night. P. is out salmon fishing on Lake MI tonight and I am headed to bed. But I am going to bed knowing I am one day closer to feeling better and happy out baby is still living and growing in my belly. I have a new plan and feel good about it.

What to do?

I think I need a hobby or a project to concentrate on. I would love to be selling on eBay right now but I don't have anything to sell. I thought of a couple things today. I could clean the basement. We use our basement as storage and it could use some cleaning and organizing. It would be a good project to keep me busy for a few days. I could try to read or paint or crochet. But I don't really like to read, I am a terrible painter and I don't know how to crochet.

The past couple of days have been more of the same. I am getting quite a bit of sleep though. About 11-12 hours a night. I used to be lucky if I got 6-7 hours. I am feeling pretty lazy but rested. I tried some new pregnancy exercises today that I saw on The View. It felt good to use the muscles that used to be so active and tone but that I only use now to get in and out of bed.

10 weeks!

We are finally into the double digits....10 weeks! 2 1/2 months. If you asked me how I was doing my answer would depend on the day and time. Yesterday I don't know if I would have even answered you for fear of bad words or throw up coming out. I really need to do the dishes right now but any slight smells of food make me gag. I don't have morning sickness. I have evening sickness. Bad, bad evening sickness. It comes on around 4 or 5pm and lasts until I go to bed. It is terrible. Can you tell I am having a bad day?

On a lighter note....I get this email from this pregnancy website telling me what's going on with my baby each week. Here are some highlights of what it says for this week:
"Your baby is no longer an embryo! All your fetuses vital organs — the liver, kidney, intestines, brain, and lungs — are now in place and starting to function. During the next three weeks, your baby's length will more than double to nearly 3 inches. Each day, more minute details — including tiny fingernails, toenails, and peach-fuzz hair — start to appear on her body. She is busily swallowing amniotic fluid and kicking her legs. Your uterus has doubled in size by now. Before you got pregnant, it was the size of a small pear. By this week, it's grown to the size of a grapefruit. "
It also talks about "evening" sickness and recommends eating a big meal in the morning and just snacking at night when you are not feeling well. Not great advise but that's OK. It's mention in the email is validation enough that I am normal and not alone.

A couple more light notes......It seems a few things have improved. I don't have quite as many migraines as I used to. I still have them, but they are less frequent. Maybe because I sleep more and if I am not sleeping I am laying on the couch. I don't do much anymore that would bring on a migraine. And my complexion has improved. I have always had bad skin and it seems as though it has cleared up a bit over the last month. My neck is not giving me too many problems either. Again, probably because I don't move around very much and spend a lot of time in the horizontal position but still.....I will take it!

P. took on two classes at ITT this quarter. I feel bad for him working so hard for us all the time. Lately I feel like I don't contribute anything to the relationship or house. I can't even make him dinner because the food and smells make me sick. I hope he understands this is temporary. This IS temporary isn't it? Isn't it?

1st Doctor's Appointment

Today's appointment was pretty harmless. The nurse had a lot of medical history questions for P. and I, brochures to look over and papers to sign, and then I had to get a urine and blood test. We learned about classes at the hospital we can take and optional tests down the line that are available to us. We also chose to donate our baby's umbilical cord. My starting pregnancy weight as of today is 151 lbs, with clothes and shoes on. It looks like I have lost about 6-8 lbs since getting pregnant. Surprising considering the extra weight I feel I am carrying in my chest and how large and bloated I feel but not surprising at the same time since my diet has drastically changed. The nurse gave us a due date of April 9th, 2008 and said we would know more at my next apt which is Sept 18th and is with a doctor. On the 18th they will do a full pelvic exam, measurements and maybe an ultrasound if they find it necessary. Otherwise I will only get an ultrasound during my 20th week and hopefully at that time our little pumpkin will cooperate and show us if we can start thinking boy or girl.

Things have been going pretty well lately. I have been sleeping more which gives me less awake time to feel sick. I am eating a lot of cereal, toast, crackers and lemonade. I do worry our baby isn't getting enough nutrients from fruits and vegetables right now but our nurse said to just worry about getting things down for now and once the morning sickness goes away work on a more nutritional diet.

On another note, NFL Football starts tonight! Football for us means hours of exciting entertainment, cold weather, chili and corn bread, wearing my SF 49ers hoodie sweatshirt and late nights watching our favorite teams. Games start really late out here EST. Late enough for us to consider moving back to a reasonable time zone just for the convenience. My team is the rebuilding yet still decent Niners. P. is a lifelong Philadelphia Eagles fan. Go team! ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL? We are.

9 weeks, September already?

P. and I went to Chicago for the holiday weekend to see a Cubs game at the amazing Wrigley Field, eat at our favorite restaurant The Cheesecake Factory and see the big city sites. The last time we went to Chicago the weather was horrendous. It was windy and cold. So cold we could hardly be outside for more than a few minutes at a time. This trip was much different.

We had a slight delay Sat morning trying to get out of the house due to tummy troubles. We almost didn't make the trip because I was having such a hard time with morning sickness Friday. We took our time Sat morning with eating right, resting and visiting the restroom and around 9:30am I felt I could make the trip and we headed out. I am so glad we hung in there and made the trip because it was a wonderful time with little troubles and lot's of fun. We were late to the Cubs game but got to see about an hour and half of play. P. bought me a cool long sleeve Cubs shirt and we had great seats along the first base line and in the shade. Wrigley Field was so cool, so old school with the manual scoreboard and organ music. It couldn't have gone any better. Oh, and the Cubs won 4-3 over the Houston Astros keeping them in the first place position. After the game we found our fancy Hotel Blake in downtown Chicago, checked in then quickly walked up Michigan Ave. to our early dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. We didn't have to wait for a table and sat down to share a plate of Mahi Mahi Fish Tacos and a piece of Fresh Banana Cheesecake. I had one taco myself and a handful of bites of cheesecake, just enough to satisfy my hunger but not too much to upset my stomach. It was a perfect dinner. After dinner we walked around Navy Pier and got in some good people watching, something we like to do a lot. I was so thankful to have made it all day with minimal troubles. Besides being tired from a long day of walking around and the excitement of the day we were happy and content. The downtown hotel room was loud and it seemed like the city never went to sleep. But we didn't have to check out until noon the next day so we took advantage of a nice, slow, relaxing Sunday morning away from home. Before we headed out of town Sunday we hit the famous pizza place we went to before, Giordano's and had some really good deep dish stuffed pizza. It didn't settle in my stomach well but it was worth it and thank God for frequent rest areas along the road. Oh, and someone rear ended us in traffic in Chicago. It's not bad, just a few scratches and hopefully no lasting effects on my neck. We will keep our fingers crossed. We stopped by the brand new Four Winds Casino in Michigan City and let them take our money before making the final leg home.

I have to say we had a truly wonderful weekend together. We made sure to enjoy our "childless" trip and alone time because soon vacations won't be the same. Not bad, just different, right?

New developments: Lemonade. I love, love, love lemonade. Funny, because I have never even liked lemonade in the past. Grits satisfy my hunger and don't upset my stomach so I have eaten a lot of plain grits lately. Weird, I know. P. puts his hand on my tummy while we watch TV even though there isn't anything noticeably growing in there yet. I love it. He asks me how our little volleyball player is doing and depending on how I am feeling he gets a sweet or sarcastic answer. I have my first doctor's appointment Thursday morning and will make sure to put an update on my blog afterwards. I can't wait to hear the heartbeat and see the little grape sized volleyball player growing in there.

Well, it is September already. Where did the summer go? The kids are back in school today, the weather is cooling down and the leaves are showing some color already. I feel like I have missed out on the last month of summer because of my morning sickness and exhaustion but plan to fully enjoy the beautiful Fall Michigan has to offer. In a few weeks my upset stomach should ease up and I hope to camp a couple more times with my hubby, hit the beautiful Michigan lake shore and enjoy the last couple of months before our long winter hits.

Retail Therapy

Today I tried a new approach to ease my symptoms. I was determined to get out of the house to get my mind off how horrible I felt and get some exercise at the same time. I thought maybe if I didn't think about.....you know the story. And it worked......for a little while. P. and I walked around the Goodwill and Mel Trotter Ministries thrift stores and found a great stroller for $10. Love it. Then I headed to the mall while P. went back to work. I started at Sears, full of energy and feeling pretty good. I visited some of my favorite stores like Pacific Sunwear, Apple and Little Bohemia before coming upon Motherhood. Wow. Pregnant woman's heaven. My books say I will grow out of my pants by the end of October/Nov. At first that was a scary thought, now it is something I look forward. I can't wait to shop at Motherhood. I stopped at the book store and skimmed a pregnancy book titled Pregnancy Sucks before the exhaustion and nauseousness set in and I hurried home. The rest of the day and night has been more of the same. But that's ok. For a few hours today I felt like myself again and it felt good. Oh, and P. and I have a friend whose wife's name is Lilah. I really like it. Goodnight all.

8 Weeks

Last night my grocery store receipt consisted of Vit B6, Unisom, saltine crackers, Tums, peppermint candies and a box of Betty Crocker Brownies. After 2 days bedridden in the house I called my doctor and researched the internet for morning sickness help. I was/am desperate. My doctor recommended Vit B6 once a day and a 1/2 tablet of Unisom as needed. Online I found a lot of woman in my position recommend ginger tea, saltine crackers, Vit B6, motion sickness bands/bracelets, peppermint candies, lot's of small bland meals instead of 3 big meals and to not take your "very strong" prenatal vitamin until nighttime. I tried a few remedies yesterday and felt a little better and even with all my efforts today I feel just terrible. Discouraging, yes. But I do know the sypmtoms are temporary. They say morning sickness peaks around 9-10 weeks and tapers off around 12-14 weeks. I look forward to the day.

Yesterday was my 8 week mark! If everything goes as planned we will have a little baby in 7 months. I feel better telling people at this point that we are pregnant and look forward to sharing the news with some more family and friends in the next couple of weeks. P. and I went garage sale shopping last Sat and found a "like new" pack n' play for cheap and some baby books about puppies of course. Oh and we found a Detroit Red Wings onesie for $.25. Fun, fun. We hope to use the last month or so of garage sales to get some baby necessities for cheap. If you know me at all you know I am not one to buy anything new and expensive that I can get used and cheap at a sale.

Yuck!

So my nausea turned into something much worse today. It's funny because yesterday was such a good day. I got up and had my normal breakfast of fruit and water and soon was hanging my head over the toilet. I don't think I have thrown up since I was 15 years old and today my pregnancy was confirmed with 3 episodes of intense vomiting. So intense I burst a few blood vessels under my right eye. My friend B. said the fun has just begun. I say it was jut a fluke and I ate some bad grapes. We will see.......

I have had some interesting dreams lately. I thought I would share a few funny ones. A couple nights ago I dreamt that I met Reba McEntire and I got to tell her what an incredible person I thought she was. She offered me some hot dogs to eat, I refused. Then a few nights later I dreamt we went to the doctors for an ultrasound and we found out we were having a boy. The doctor took the baby out of the ultrasound screen and handed it to me. It looked like a little alien with a big giant head and I didn't know what to do with it. I had another good dream last night but it has since escaped my mind. Oh well, if I share much more you all might think I am going crazy.

Today I feel very, very blessed to be home. I was thinking about how hard it would be to feel like this and have to go to a job every day. I am going to give my husband a big kiss tonight to let him know how much I appreciate his support and for allowing me to be home during this time. I may be a pessimist or a glass if half empty kind of person but I do realize how lucky I am. I do realize that I have a very good life and have been blessed in so many ways. I have an amazing husband, a nice house, 2 beautiful dogs, good family and friends and there is nothing I am in desperate need or want of. I have it all and a family with P. will just be icing on the cake.

It's Raining, It's Pouring

I am blogging today in sweats, a sweatshirt and thick socks. I think I even considered turning the heat on for a second but grabbed a blanket instead. We just spent a very fall-like rainy weekend camping in Pentwater, MI. We were supposed to spend the long weekend salmon fishing but weather and boat problems prevented us from that. P.'s parents, aunt and uncle, niece and nephew met us Friday at our campground just north of Pentwater. It was windy, too windy to go out on the lake so we went to play Bingo at the local VFW instead. I did win my first Bingo ever and it was exciting but after 2 hours in the smoke and with my eyes crossing P. and I headed home.

P., his dad, and our nephew did get to go out on a friend's boat Sat. morning. They caught a Steelhead and a nice sized Salmon so at least we didn't leave empty handed. We had a fish fry that night with potatoes and salad, yum.

We had made an attempt to go out on P.'s dad's boat that evening but only came back with sea sickness, boat troubles, wet clothes and broken equipment. We can laugh about it now. So Sunday we resorted to the casino and movie theatre to pass the time. Kat. and I went to see No Reservations with Katherine Zeta-Jones. It was cute, typical romance. Who wouldn't fall in love with KZJs, geez she is gorgeous. We headed home early Mon after a long night of pouring rain and no sleep.

I wasn't so sure how I would do camping and being pregnant. It wasn't horrible but let's just say things were a little more difficult. I never felt great, actually I felt pretty miserable the whole time. I feel nauseous from the time I wake up until the time I fall asleep. I thought I would finally toss my cookies while out on the boat but kept it down with deep breaths and lots of concentration. With the gloomy rainy days and lack of sleep I was ready to come home and deal with my symptoms in the comforts of my own home. The "morning" sickness is ridiculously named because it doesn't go away after 10am. Mine seems to get worse. I am exhausted. I feel like I could go to sleep right now and wake up next week and still be tired. And the gas, bloating and indigestion is unbelievable. Wow. Tough. But, on a good note I am 7 weeks pregnant! 5 more weeks and I will be out of my first trimester. I heard things get much easier at that point. I do know all of these icky symptoms are temporary and will eventually go away. I do feel it is all worth it. I do feel blessed. But I do look forward to feeling better, a lot.

Update

Names:
P. likes Archer for our boy. Archer means archer, or bowman or marksman. Do you think there would be too much pressure on him to be an expert archer with the name?
I like Shelby for our girl. Shelby doesn't mean much, I just remember Julia Roberts name was Shelby in Steel Magnolias and I really like that movie. And Shelby, MI is where he/she was conceived. Shhh.

I am feeling ok. Still happy and excited but sometimes the other symptoms take over and it's hard to be all happy and excited. I feel nauseous all day most days and my boobs are ridiculously sore and uncomfortable. My sleep schedule is all messed up. I can't fall asleep until 1 or 2am and I sleep in until about 10am. At least I am getting my hours in though. Other than that I am healthy and hanging in there.

Today I told my best friend the news. I tried to wait as long as possible to confirm the pregnancy but I couldn't wait any longer. K. cried. I cried. She is pregnant too, with her 4th and we had a good laugh together as I complained about my boobs and my egg and banana issues. She understood. I hope to be as good a mom as Kristyn is. She is a good woman and a wonderful mom. I will strive to raise kids as well as she has. It felt good to share our wonderful news with my oldest and closest friend.

Open to Suggestions

This weekend we went to Detroit for a Tigers game and to meet some friends for lunch before the game. My friend A. has two kids and handles motherhood quite well so I took the opportunity to bounce some ideas and concerns off of her. One thing I have noticed about couples after having kids is that their marriages suffer. P. and I have such a wonderful marriage and I am a little worried about how things are going to change. She said couples that fall apart or lose their "passion" do that to themselves and that it doesn't have to be that way. They focus all their attention and efforts towards their kids and at the end of the day have nothing left for each other. A. advised to always make time for dates, alone time and to make sure you live your life with kids, not for them. Easier said than done? Is it silly to think things can stay the same between us? All I know is that I am going to make a conscious effort to "save" our marriage. In 10 years from now I want the same excitement and passion for my husband that I have today. Maybe even more.

The Tiger game was a lot of fun. P. and I really enjoy baseball games. We enjoy most sports games together. Besides a change in the game time and a little trouble finding our way home after the game things went quite well. Comerica Park is nice and new. The Tigers played well with a couple home runs hit in our direction. All in all it was a fun day in Detroit. We were able to see good friends, eat BBQ, watch a fun baseball game and spend quality time together as a couple.

My books don't list "thinking" as a symptom of pregnancy but I find myself thinking, even worrying, more than ever. There are so many things to ponder and figure out. Maybe it's just that I have too much time on my hands now and I need to find something to keep myself busy with for the next 9 months. I haven't spent a lot of time around kids and personally don't feel I have a strong "mom" gene. But I have a lot of friends and family members that I respect as moms and dads and can learn a lot from. If there is something you have learned from being a mom, dad, grandmother or grandfather, aunt or uncle or friend please share your thoughts with me. My mind and heart are open right now to listening and learning. I want to be the best mom I can be so if there is important knowledge or advise you can share I would be more than happy to hear from you. Off to eat lunch and nap. It's a hard life but someone has got to do it!